What can I do when I feel ashamed of how I behaved and it makes it harder to face my child again? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Paralysis of Shame 

After an outburst, shame can be paralysing. Simple things like making eye contact, speaking softly, and sitting next to your child become excruciatingly difficult. Parenting, however, is about brave returns, not perfect moments. Your child is waiting for your presence, not for perfection. 

Reconnecting Through Action 

Start with simple actions, such as providing their favourite snack, playing beside them, or discreetly cleaning the room while remaining close by. Allow your composed behaviour to re-establish the channel of communication. Gentle honesty is another way to demonstrate vulnerability. Say something like, I have been feeling depressed about my earlier speech. I want to get back in touch with you even if I am not proud of that moment. This teaches your child that mistakes can be fixed and that guilt is something to be overcome rather than buried. 

The Goal: Integrity, Not Perfection 

You are showing children that people can get past their emotional problems and that being wrong does not make you unlovable. The objective is to re-enter the relationship with integrity, not to hide your humiliation with self-punishment or excessive apologies. A hug, a shared smile, or a bedtime story are all silent acts of reciprocation that are more powerful than regret. 

Spiritual Insight 

Shame (Hayā’) is only good in Islam when it brings us back to Allah Almighty, not when it makes us run away from things that need to be healed. Allah Almighty offers comfort in Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 53: 

“Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty)… “

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, despite being free of sin, still engaged in constant self-reflection and returned to Allah. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, as recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4251: 

“Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent. “

Therefore, use your embarrassing situation as an opportunity to make a spiritual amends to your child and Allah Almighty. You become a living example of Tawbah when you can confront them once more in a humble and gentle manner. In parenting, emotional healing is not distinct from worship; in fact, it is one of its purest manifestations.