What can I do when eye-rolling spreads through the whole sibling group? 

Parenting Perspective 

Eye-rolling may seem like a small gesture, but within family life, it can quickly become a powerful way of showing disrespect. When one sibling starts to use it, the others often copy, and soon the behaviour can spread through the whole group. What makes eye-rolling so challenging is that it is silent but loaded with meaning; it can communicate dismissal, annoyance, or mockery without a single word being spoken. If it is left unaddressed, it can normalise contempt and erode the respect between siblings, and also towards their parents. 

Name the Behaviour and Its Meaning 

Begin by pointing out what the act of eye-rolling actually communicates. You could say, “When you roll your eyes like that, it looks like you are saying, ‘You do not matter,’ or ‘That is a silly thing to say.’ Even if you do not mean it in that way, that is how it can feel to the other person.” This helps your children to understand that their gestures can be just as cutting as their words. 

Make It a Family Rule of Respect 

You can introduce a clear and simple boundary for everyone in the home. For example, “In this family, we do not roll our eyes at each other. If you are feeling annoyed, you must use your words to explain why.” Writing this into your set of family rules makes it clear that respect is non-negotiable, even in its non-verbal forms. 

Offer Alternatives for Expressing Frustration 

Children often roll their eyes because they do not have the right words to express their feelings in the moment. You can coach them by providing respectful replacements. 

• ‘I am feeling frustrated because…’ 

• ‘I do not agree with that. Can I please explain why?’ 

• ‘That is bothering me. Can we talk about it?’ 

Teaching them these phrases gives them a safe and constructive way to express their disagreement without resorting to contempt. 

Use a ‘Reset’ in the Moment 

When you notice the eye-rolling, you can step in calmly and say, “That looked disrespectful. Can you please try again with your words?” This gives the child a chance to restate their feelings. If they resist, you can model it for them: “Instead of rolling your eyes, you can say, ‘I do not like that rule.’” 

Reinforce Positive Attempts 

When your child manages to resist the urge to roll their eyes and uses their words instead, make sure to notice it. For example, “Thank you for telling me how you felt without rolling your eyes. That was a very mature way to handle it.” This positive reinforcement helps to build the habit of respectful communication. 

A Mini-Dialogue Example 

Child A: (rolls their eyes at their sibling) 

Parent: ‘That eye-roll came across as unkind. Please can you say what you are feeling with your words instead.’ 

Child A: ‘Okay… I do not like it when you take my things without asking me first.’ 

Parent: ‘That was much clearer and more respectful. Thank you for that.’ 

By redirecting in the moment and reinforcing better communication, you can turn eye-rolling into a teachable moment, rather than letting it take root as a dismissive habit. The goal is not just to stop the eye-rolling, but to teach your children that every form of their communication, whether verbal or non-verbal, should always protect the dignity of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that mockery and contempt are forbidden, whether they are spoken out loud or are simply shown in our behaviour. 

Even Gestures Can Harm Respect 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames…’ 

This verse reminds us that contempt can take many different forms. Rolling the eyes is a silent kind of ridicule, but it still communicates a sense of superiority over the other person. Teaching this to our children can show them that our faith requires respect not only in our words but also in our gestures. 

The Prophet’s Emphasis on Respectful Interaction 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough evil for a man to despise his Muslim brother.’ 

This Hadith directly connects to behaviours like eye-rolling, which are used to signal disdain for another person. Our children can be gently reminded that when they roll their eyes at their siblings, they are in fact looking down on them, which is something that the Prophet ﷺ described as a serious harm. 

By linking this social skill to your everyday family interactions, you can help your children to see that their gestures matter just as much as their words. Respectful eyes, a kind tone, and gentle words are what create harmony, while contempt, even when it is silent, can damage hearts.