What can a child say when disappointment hits and they want to quit? 

Parenting Perspective 

Disappointment is a powerful emotion, especially for a child who has tried their best and fallen short. Whether it is a failed test, a missed goal in a game, or a project that did not turn out right, the sting of failure can feel unbearable. The instinct to quit in these moments often comes from a place of emotional exhaustion, not laziness. Teaching your child how to speak through their disappointment helps them to transform that discouragement into resilience. They learn that their emotions deserve to be expressed with honesty, but that those emotions do not have to lead to surrender. 

Understanding What Quitting Represents 

When your child says, “I am done!”, their words are rarely just about the task itself. It is often their way of saying, “I cannot handle how this feels.” It is important to acknowledge that feeling first, before offering any solutions. 

You could say, ‘It sounds like you are really disappointed. I know how hard you worked on this.’ This validation helps to calm the emotional storm. Children need to feel understood before they can find the courage to try again. 

Teaching the Difference Between Resting and Quitting 

Children often confuse the act of taking a break with giving up completely. You can explain to them that stepping back to breathe or think is not a sign of failure, but a wise strategy. For example, ‘You do not have to stop completely. Let us just take a break, and we can look at it again with fresh eyes later.’ Helping them to reframe the moment in this way can transform a sense of helplessness into one of hope. 

Giving Them Words for the Feeling 

Disappointment can feel overwhelming because it is often hard to describe. Help your child to find language that names the emotion and redirects it in a constructive way. 

• ‘I am really frustrated right now; I need a short break.’ 

• ‘This did not go how I had hoped, but I want to try again later.’ 

• A particularly powerful phrase is: ‘I am disappointed right now, but I am not giving up.’ 

These phrases teach emotional honesty and perseverance at the same time. 

Modelling Resilience in Your Own Actions 

Show your child that you, too, feel disappointed sometimes, and that perseverance is a process, not an act of perfection. You might say, ‘I felt frustrated today when something at work did not go as I had planned. I took a break, and then I tried again, and it worked out much better.’ When children see you handle setbacks calmly, they internalise the idea that failure is temporary, not a defining trait. 

Teaching the Power of Focusing on Small Wins 

When disappointment strikes, children often need tangible proof that progress is still possible. Help them to set a small, manageable micro-goal. For example, ‘Let us just do the next small step. Not the whole thing, just this one piece.’ Completing even a tiny part of the task can renew their confidence and turn discouragement back into determination. 

Using Encouragement That Builds, Not Pressures 

Try to avoid phrases like “You should not feel that way” or “Do not give up!” Instead, validate their feelings and invite them to reflect. You could ask, ‘I can see that this is really hard. What might help it to feel a little bit easier next time?’ This approach honours both their effort and their emotion, making perseverance a choice, not a command. 

Reinforcing a Growth Mindset 

Remind your child that experiencing disappointment is a part of every meaningful journey in life. You might say, ‘Every time you face something that feels hard, you are getting stronger on the inside, even if you cannot see it yet.’ This gives meaning to the difficult moment, helping them to see setbacks as stepping stones rather than as failures. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches believers to face every hardship with patience, gratitude, and a deep trust in the wisdom of Allah Almighty. Teaching a child how to remain steady in moments of disappointment helps to nurture both sabr (patience) and tawakkul (trust in Allah). This process can turn moments of perceived weakness into profound acts of faith. 

The Quranic Wisdom of Perseverance 

The Quran gives us a beautiful and powerful reassurance that every period of difficulty will eventually be followed by relief. This promise is a source of immense hope for a believer. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5-6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

Teaching your child to say, “I am disappointed, but I will try again,” is helping them to live this truth. It is an expression of their belief that every hardship contains an opportunity for growth and reward. 

The Prophetic Example of Learning from Setbacks 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasise the importance of learning from our mistakes and setbacks. This resilience is a key characteristic of a believer’s mindset. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6133, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is not stung from the same hole twice.‘ 

This hadith teaches the value of using our experiences to become wiser and stronger. When your child feels disappointed but makes the choice to keep trying, they are embodying this prophetic resilience. 

When your child learns to express their disappointment without quitting, they are learning the true essence of resilience: the ability to feel deeply but still stand firmly. They begin to understand that emotion and endurance can coexist; that it is possible to be hurt and still be hopeful, to be tired and still keep trying. 

Each time they say, “I am disappointed, but I will try again,” they are building both emotional muscle and spiritual depth. They are learning that growth is often hidden in the moments that feel the hardest, and that Allah Almighty sees and rewards every effort, not just every success. 

Over time, this habit will transform not only how they face failure but also how they see themselves: not as children who fall, but as believers who rise again and again, with patience, purpose, and faith.