What calm words help when my child yells about not liking the food? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child shouts, “I do not like this!” at the dinner table, it can feel disheartening, especially after you have spent time preparing the meal. You might feel tempted to respond sharply or to insist that they eat it anyway. However, these moments are not only about food; they are opportunities to teach respectful expression, gratitude, and calm communication. Your response will either escalate their frustration or model a sense of emotional balance. 

Understanding the Emotion Behind the Yelling 

Children often react strongly to food because mealtimes can involve both their emotions and a sense of control. When they dislike what is being served, their loud protest is not just about the taste; it is about them trying to assert their independence. Recognising this can help you to detach from the shouting. Your role is to guide them from a state of pure reaction to one of quiet reflection, not to win an argument. 

The Calm Script for Mealtimes 

Before you reply to your child, it is helpful to take a slow, steady breath for yourself. When you are able to respond with a sense of calmness, you are teaching by your own example, showing your child that even a moment of frustration can be met with grace and with patience. 

• Acknowledge their feeling. You can say, ‘I can hear that you do not like what is on your plate. That is okay. Not everyone has to like everything.’ 

• Set a respectful boundary. ‘You can tell me that you do not like something, but not by shouting about it. If you can speak calmly, I will be happy to listen to you.’ 

• Offer a calm choice. ‘You do not have to eat what you do not like, but you do need to speak in a kind way. You can choose to eat the parts that you do enjoy, or you can just sit with us politely until we have finished.’ 

This approach can help to teach your child a sense of emotional awareness and of respectful communication, without turning the dinner table into a battleground. 

Reflection After the Moment 

When the tension of the moment has passed, you can gently reflect with your child on what has happened. You could say, ‘You were feeling so upset earlier about your dinner, but next time you can just tell me about it calmly. When we are able to speak to each other with respect, we can solve things much more quickly.’ This short, post-moment talk is key to helping them to link the act of calm speech with a more positive outcome. 

Spiritual Insight 

Teaching a sense of calmness and of gratitude at the dinner table is not just an act of good parenting; it is an act of faith. Islam beautifully weaves the concepts of adab (good manners) and of shukr (thankfulness) into even the simplest of our daily moments, such as the act of eating. Your own patience and your calm words during your child’s moment of frustration are small acts of worship that can reflect your own trust in the wisdom and the provision of Allah. 

The Importance of Gratitude and Courtesy 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 172: 

‘O you who are believers, consume from amongst that which is purified, which We (Allah Almighty) have provided for you; and be grateful to Allah (Almighty), if you (truly) worship (Allah Almighty) exclusively.’ 

This verse reminds us that our food is a divine gift, not a guarantee. Teaching your child a sense of gratitude, even for the meals that they may not particularly like, can help to nurture their spiritual awareness from a very young age. Your own calm reminders can help them to associate the act of eating with a sense of appreciation, rather than with one of complaint. 

The Prophetic Example of Respect at Mealtimes 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2064, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Messenger of Allah never found fault with food. If he liked it, he ate it; and if he disliked it, he left it.’ 

This hadith perfectly reflects a sense of grace and of self-restraint. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ modelled a deep sense of patience, even in his own personal preferences. When you are able to calmly guide your child to speak in a kind way about their food, you are mirroring his prophetic manners, teaching them that a sense of gratitude and of gentleness should accompany their every meal. 

When your child yells about not liking their food, your own calm words can become more nourishing for them than the meal itself. You are showing them in that moment that a sense of respect, of patience, and of gratitude are the true ingredients of a peaceful and a loving home. 

Every time you are able to remain composed, you are not just ending an argument in the moment; you are helping to cultivate a sense of emotional maturity and of spiritual depth in your child. Over time, they will learn from you that a sense of calmness is what can earn them a greater sense of understanding, while their anger will only ever serve to delay it. One day, they will begin to echo your own calm tone, and will come to realise for themselves that the beautiful manners you have modelled for them were in fact profound lessons in both kindness and in faith.