The Stress of Distracted Parenting: Phones and Our Children 

Parenting Perspective 

A child can experience significant emotional stress and insecurity when they observe a parent constantly engrossed in their phone. Parents are the primary source of a child’s comfort and attention. When this focus is consistently divided or absent, children can begin to feel overlooked or unimportant. 

Emotional Insecurity 

Children need a strong sense of connection to thrive. If they regularly see their parents engaging more with a screen than with them, they may begin to feel less valued. This can lower their confidence and create a sense of loneliness, even within their own home. 

Modelling Unhealthy Habits 

Children frequently imitate the behaviour they see around them. When parents are perpetually attached to their phones, children are likely to see this as normal and copy it, which can lead to their own excessive screen time. It may also cause them to struggle with prioritising real-world relationships over devices as they grow older. 

Frustration and Behavioural Issues 

In response to being ignored, some children may misbehave as a way to reclaim their parent’s attention. Others might withdraw quietly, allowing resentment to build over time. In both scenarios, the absence of parental presence leaves an emotional void. 

Rebuilding Presence and Balance 

Parents can actively reduce this stress by taking simple, consistent steps to be more present. 

• Establish phone-free times, such as during meals or the bedtime routine. 

• Offer undivided attention when having conversations or playing together. 

• Model a balanced approach by explaining when phones are needed for work or other necessities, and when they are put away for family time. 

Through these small but meaningful actions, children learn that they are far more important than any screen and that human connection should always be the priority. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on mindfulness, presence, and the importance of relationships. A parent’s constant distraction with a phone can subtly damage a child’s emotional well-being by undermining the trust and closeness that ought to define family life. 

The Cost of Distraction 

The Quran teaches that turning away from our duties and connections brings difficulty. While this verse speaks of neglecting the remembrance of Allah, the principle extends to our responsibilities, including the emotional needs of our children. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 124: 

‘And whoever disregards the realisations from Me (Allah Almighty), then indeed, his worldly business shall be depreciated; and We (Allah Almighty) shall assemble them on the Day of Resurrection, blinded.‘ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that neglecting what truly matters, such as our connection to Allah and our families, inevitably leads to hardship. 

The Prophetic Example of Presence 

The life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ provides a perfect model for being present and attentive in our relationships. He taught us to be proactive in showing care and affection. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 542, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When one of you loves his brother, he should tell him.’ 

This hadith highlights the importance of making love and attention visible. Children need to feel this love through direct, focused interaction, not compete for it with a screen. 

Fostering Connection Through Mindfulness 

By consciously setting aside their phones to engage with their children, parents are following the prophetic example of being fully present. This practice nurtures a child’s sense of security, warmth, and confidence, reinforcing that their worth is greater than any digital device. In doing so, we teach our children to value people and faith over the constant lure of digital distraction.