My spouse rarely listens when I speak, and our child notices. How do I protect my self-respect without modelling passive acceptance? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children do not only observe how we treat others. They also learn a lot by how we treat ourselves. If your partner repeatedly ignores or dismisses your voice, and you remain mute to keep the peace, your child may learn a harmful lesson: that love entails accepting contempt, and that being quiet is the price of family unity. But defending your self-esteem does not necessitate antagonism. It takes calm, tangible limits and a quiet confidence to tell your child that their voice matters and should be heard with care. 

You can begin by softly addressing the situation in real time: “I do not feel heard right now.” Let us halt so we may both listen to one other. This demonstrates emotional clarity without emotional hostility. Later, confirm your own presence in front of your child: “I would like to finish my thought, then I will listen to you.” These little remarks can alter the dynamic without turning the situation into a power battle. You are not only defending your dignity; you are also teaching your child that respect is not earned via volume or silence. It is exhibited via constancy, justice, and the bravery to stick to your ideals even when others do not. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a high importance on both speaking respectfully and listening attentively. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never turned away from a discourse or made others feel unworthy of being heard. His quiet was not contemptuous. It was a sacred area, in which the other person might feel visible and respected. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation… and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames; how bad is it to be called by nefarious names after the attainment of faith…’ 

This verse reminds us that contempt, even if unspoken, can be considered an insult. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2563, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Al-Haya is from faith, and faith is in Paradise. Obscenity is from rudeness, and rudeness is in the Fire. ‘

You are not being impolite by standing your ground. You are supporting the Islamic idea that every believer deserves to be honoured through words. When your child sees you doing this with grace and calm firmness, they learn that love without respect is not whole, and that dignity may be maintained without aggression.