My spouse often dismisses my worries with ‘You always overthink’. Our child hears this. Could it be damaging how they learn to express emotions? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Unintended Lesson 

Indeed, the silent influence of repeated comments such as “You always overthink” on a child’s ability to process and express emotions is a true reality. When a parent’s sentiments are continuously downplayed or dismissed, the message received is not limited to that parent. It develops into a familial script: emotional sensitivity equals weakness, and concerns are an inconvenience. Children then begin to question their own inner world, or worse, conceal it totally, in order to avoid being called ‘too much’. Over time, this might result in emotional detachment, embarrassment about vulnerability, or the practice of criticising others’ feelings rather than comprehending them. 

A Strategy for Correction 

To combat this, state the issue softly but firmly: “When my concerns are dismissed like that, it makes it difficult for any of us to speak openly, especially for our child who is learning how to deal with emotions.” You can also tell your child later that “everyone thinks and feels differently.” There is nothing wrong with being thoughtful or cautious; it simply implies your mind is attempting to make sense of things.” By doing so, you provide a corrective emotional script in which being reflective or nervous is not viewed as a weakness, but as an aspect of human variety that requires space rather than derision. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never criticised anyone’s emotional state, even if they sobbed over minor issues, repeated concerns, or worried inconsequential things. His presence was emotionally stable and not reactive. He respected people’s feelings because every emotion, when treated with mercy, might draw hearts closer to Allah Almighty. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam … and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.’ 

In Islam, honour entails not just honouring the body, but also the mind and heart, even when they appear vulnerable. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor humiliate him, nor look down upon him. ‘

Dismissing a spouse’s emotional state, particularly in front of a child, is not a harmless habit. It teaches derision instead of empathy. However, when you disrupt that script with compassion, calm self-respect, and a message of validation, you give your child a gift: the ability to feel deeply without guilt and to esteem others without superiority.