I worry that our child is associating Deen with pressure or correction. How do we make Islamic values feel like love, not fear? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child’s experience of their faith is dominated by correction and rules, they can begin to see the Deen as a burden rather than a source of comfort. To nurture a heartfelt connection, the focus must shift from obligation to love, curiosity, and shared experience. 

Weave Deen into Positive, Daily Experiences 

Integrate Islamic reminders into moments of warmth and connection. After sharing a meal, you could reflect on a short verse about gratitude. When you see a beautiful sunset, you can talk about Allah’s power as Al-Khaliq (The Creator). This helps your child associate the Deen with the beauty of everyday life. 

Use Spiritual Praise, Not Just Correction 

Actively look for opportunities to praise your child’s good character in spiritual terms. Instead of just saying ‘Thank you for sharing’, you could say, ‘That was such a generous act. Allah loves those who are generous’. This connects their good actions directly to the love of Allah, which is a powerful and positive motivator. 

Create Heartfelt Rituals of Sincerity 

Move beyond routine memorisation by creating small, sincere rituals. This could be making a personal, heartfelt dua for your child out loud before they sleep or starting a family tradition of sharing one thing you are grateful to Allah for each evening. These moments teach them that faith is a relationship with Allah, not just a checklist. 

Temper Correction with Empathy 

When correction is necessary, always deliver it with a foundation of love and security. You can say, ‘What you did was not the right choice, but I love you, and I am here to help you learn from it’. This separates the behaviour from their identity and reinforces that your guidance comes from a place of unconditional love, not anger. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic guidance, or tarbiyah, is rooted in the prophetic model of nurturing faith through love, patience, and mercy, not through fear or harshness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 17: 

‘O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you…‘ 

In this beautiful model of fatherly advice, Luqman pairs the command to do good with the command to “be patient.” This teaches us that our guidance must always be delivered with emotional strength and patience. When children experience this gentle consistency, they learn conviction, not coercion. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the greatest gift a parent can give is good character. 

It is recorded in Jami at-Tirmidhi, 1952, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no gift that a father gives his son more virtuous than good manners.‘ 

The way we teach the Deen is itself a form of “good manners.” When parents choose to guide with mercy, purposeful kindness, and a focus on connection, they are giving their child the best gift of all. They are modelling a love for Allah that is rooted in warmth and beauty, which is a lesson the child will carry with them for life.