I feel invisible at home yet constantly needed. How might this impact my child’s perception of motherhood? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a mother feels that her constant efforts are unseen, it can be emotionally draining. This dynamic can also unintentionally teach a child that the work of motherhood is thankless or expected, rather than a valued act of love and service. To nurture a balanced and positive perspective, it is important to make your care visible and valued. 

Make Your Invisible Work Visible 

Gently narrate your actions to help your child see the love and intention behind them. Instead of silently folding laundry, you can say, ‘I am making sure we all have clean clothes for the week ahead’. This is not about seeking praise, but about teaching your child to recognise and appreciate the labour of care. 

Create Moments of Shared Responsibility 

Invite your child to participate in small, age-appropriate household tasks with you. Working together on something simple, like setting the table or watering the plants, transforms a chore into a moment of connection. It teaches them that running a home is a team effort and that their contribution is valued. 

Model Healthy Boundaries 

It is vital for your child to see that a mother is a human being with her own needs. It is perfectly healthy to say, ‘Mummy needs to sit quietly and have her tea for ten minutes, and then I can play with you’. This teaches them a crucial lesson about empathy and respecting the needs of others. 

Encourage a Culture of Acknowledgment 

Foster an environment where appreciation is expressed openly. You can lead this by thanking your husband or other children for their contributions. When a child hears and sees care being acknowledged, they learn to do the same, reinforcing the value of everyone’s efforts. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, motherhood is not an invisible or thankless role; it is a position of immense honour, spiritual significance, and reward. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 14: 

‘And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination…‘ 

This verse elevates the unseen struggles of a mother to an act witnessed and honoured by Allah. It is a powerful reminder that her labour is never invisible to her Creator, and it establishes her right to gratitude from her children. 

The immense status of a mother was clarified repeatedly by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, 5971, that a man asked the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ who was most deserving of his good companionship. The Prophet ﷺ said: 

‘‘Your mother.’ The man then asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet ﷺ said again, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet ﷺ said again, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Then your father.’‘ 

This hadith teaches us that a mother’s position is unparalleled. When a child is taught to see, thank, and serve their mother, they are not just learning good manners; they are fulfilling one of the most emphasised duties in their faith.