I do not feel anything for my spouse anymore, and it shows in how we move around each other. How can I protect my child from emotional coldness without pretending? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Blueprint of Emotional Distance 

You do not need to simulate affection, but you should demonstrate emotional decency. Children may detect detachment in the pauses between sentences, the lack of shared glances, and the frigid choreography of two individuals moving around each other without affection. Over time, this becomes their relationship blueprint: emotionally distant, transactional, and tense. 

A Strategy of Emotional Decency 

If love has vanished, mutual regard is the most you can offer. That includes communicating civilly, sharing tasks without anger, and refusing to allow bitterness to define the household environment. Begin by viewing your co-parenting relationship as a purposeful act of care, not for each other, but for your child’s emotional state. Even simple actions such as providing tea, saying “thank you,” or asking, “Do you need assistance with that?” can re-establish a sense of human warmth. Children do not need to see affection that is not genuine, but they do need to know that the adults in their family are safe with one another. If left unchecked, emotional coldness becomes a silent teacher, influencing how your child approaches proximity, conflict, and connection. Even without love, what you model today is really important. 

Spiritual Insight 

Even when our hearts change, Islam demands us to respect the dignity of every relationship, especially the ones we base our lives on. The cessation of attachment does not indicate the end of kindness. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) treated everyone with ihsan (excellence), even when relationships were strained or ended. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 19: 

‘…And cohabit with them with the positivity (of kindness). for if you dislike them, then perhaps it may be that in your (tolerance to the) dislike of something, may cause for you (to receive) something even better from Allah (Almighty).’ 

This verse emphasises the importance of maintaining polite behaviour even in the absence of strong feelings, trusting that Allah will provide benefit through elegant dealings. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1977, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you is the best to his wife(family). ‘

Even once the emotional core has altered, attempting to be ‘the best’ for one’s family – via restraint, dignity, and care, is not a performance. It is a spiritual posture. Your child does not have to witness perfect love. They need to see emotional maturity, polite boundaries, and a household that feels safe even when hearts are silently navigating distance.