How to Teach Siblings to Respect Each Other’s Ways of Grieving 

Parenting Perspective 

There Is No ‘Right’ Way to Grieve 

When a loved one passes away, it is natural for each child to respond in their own way. One might cry openly, another may become quiet, and another might try to distract themselves. These differences can sometimes confuse siblings and even lead to criticism, because children often expect others to feel the same way they do. Your role is to help them see that there is no single ‘right’ way to grieve, and that compassion for each other is more important than sameness. 

Name and Normalise Their Differences 

You can begin by naming and normalising these differences. Tell your children that grief shows up in many forms, and each of them has the right to feel and express it in their own way. By explaining this clearly, you give them permission to be themselves without judging others. 

Set a Respectful Boundary 

It also helps to set a respectful boundary. You might say, ‘In our family, we do not mock or criticise how someone else feels. We give space and kindness.’ This teaches them that respect is not optional, even when emotions run high. Encourage them to practise simple empathy by noticing when a sibling is sad and offering small gestures of support, such as sitting together or saying a kind word. 

Model Acknowledgement 

As a parent, you can model this by openly acknowledging the variety of feelings in the house. For example, you could say, ‘I see you are missing Grandpa in your quiet way, and I see you are missing him with tears. Both are okay.’ This reassures each child that they are understood, while also teaching the siblings to value one another’s expressions. 

Turn Criticism Into Compassion 

Through gentle guidance, you help them turn criticism into compassion, strengthening the family bond in a time of loss. 

Spiritual Insight 

Honour Different Emotions 

In moments of grief, children often need not only comfort from their parents but also guidance that anchors them in faith. It is reassuring to remind them that Islam honours different emotions and places great emphasis on respect and compassion within families. This helps children see that their feelings, and their siblings’ feelings, are not wrong but part of a wider test in life. 

Do Not Ridicule or Mock Others 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them; and let not the women (ridicule) other women, as perhaps they may be better than them...’  

This Verse reminds us that belittling or mocking others is forbidden, because we do not know whose way is most beloved to Allah. Teaching your children this principle allows them to replace criticism with respect during times of sadness. 

Believers Are Bound Together in Empathy 

It is also recorded in Riyadh as-Salihin, Hadith 224, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of the believers in their mutual love, mercy, and compassion is that of one body; when one limb suffers, the whole body responds with sleeplessness and fever.’  

This hadith shows that believers are bound together in empathy. When one member of the family is in pain, the others are called to care for them with mercy, not judgement. 

By gently sharing these teachings, you can help your children see that Allah loves families who respond to hardship with patience and kindness. This perspective helps them transform differences into compassion, drawing them closer to one another while strengthening their faith.