How to Teach Kids Your Love Is Not a Limited Resource 

Parenting Perspective 

Competition Is a Search for Reassurance 

It is natural for children to seek reassurance during family stress, and competition for attention often arises when they worry that love and care might run out. Each child may be trying to secure their place by pulling your focus, rather than trusting that your love is constant. 

Your Care Is Not a Prize to Be Won 

You can begin by naming what is happening in a calm moment. For example, say, ‘I can see you both want my attention right now. My love is big enough for both of you, and I will listen to each of you in turn.’ This helps them understand that your care is not a prize to be won but something secure and abundant. 

Create Moments of Individual and Shared Connection 

Creating moments of individual attention can also reduce rivalry. Even short, predictable times where you connect with each child separately remind them that they are valued in their own right. At the same time, plan small opportunities where they work together or share in a joint task, so they begin to see each other as allies rather than competitors. 

Guide Them Towards Empathy 

When tensions rise, avoid comparing siblings or labelling one as more patient or more demanding. Instead, guide them towards empathy by encouraging them to notice each other’s needs: ‘Your brother is finding this hard. How could you help him feel calmer?’ Over time, children learn that family love is multiplied when shared, not divided. 

Spiritual Insight 

Embody Fairness and Compassion 

In guiding your children away from rivalry, you are nurturing an important Islamic principle: justice, mercy, and reassurance within the family. Children learn the deepest lessons of faith not only from words, but also from how parents embody fairness and compassion in everyday life. 

Plant the Seeds of Future Kindness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: 

‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably; whether one of them or both of them reach old age in your lifetime; then do not say to either of them ‘Uff’ (an expression of disrespectful frustration) and do not  admonish them; and talk to them with kind words.’ 

This Verse emphasises respect and gentleness within the family unit. When parents show fairness and balance between children, they are planting the seeds of future kindness that children will one day return. 

Fear Allah and Be Just with Your Children 

It is also recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1623, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This guidance reminds parents that equal love and fairness are an act of worship, not just good parenting. By showing each child that your affection is not diminished by stress or by the needs of others, you reflect the prophetic model of mercy and justice. 

When children witness that love in a family is steady and plentiful, they feel safer and learn to extend that security to one another. In this way, your parenting teaches them that true love, rooted in faith, grows stronger the more it is shared.