How to Stop Comparison From Damaging Their Sibling Bond 

Parenting Perspective 

Recognise Each Child’s Individual Journey 

It is very common for siblings to adjust at different speeds to a big change such as a new school. One child may feel excited and confident, while the other may struggle with insecurity. This contrast can easily feed jealousy, especially if either child feels that their efforts are being measured against the other. 

Avoid Making Comparisons 

The first step is to recognise each child’s individual journey. When you speak with them, avoid making comparisons, even in positive ways such as “look how well your sister is doing.” Instead, focus on each child’s personal progress, however small, and let them know you see their effort. This affirms that they are valued for who they are, not for how they match up to their sibling. 

Create Opportunities for Cooperation 

At home, create opportunities for cooperation rather than competition. For example, you might ask the sibling who has settled more easily to show the other around the school or share one tip that helped them. This transforms the relationship from rivalry into teamwork and shows both children that their strengths can benefit the family as a whole. 

Have Private Moments With Each Child 

It also helps to have private moments with each child, so they can express feelings without worrying about comparison. When one child shares their struggles, listen patiently without rushing to reassure by pointing to the other sibling’s success. A parent’s steady presence is what makes a child feel secure enough to keep trying. 

Build Respect Instead of Resentment 

By consistently separating each child’s growth from the other’s, you teach them that siblings can thrive differently yet remain close. Over time, this builds respect instead of resentment. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Believers Are But Brothers 

Islam provides deep guidance on how believers should treat one another, and these lessons apply beautifully within sibling relationships. When children understand that respect and mercy are acts of faith, they can learn to see each other’s differences without rivalry.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’  

This Verse highlights that believers are bound together by faith and must protect unity rather than allow division. Within a family, this means encouraging siblings to strengthen one another, even when their experiences are different. 

Love for Your Brother What You Love for Yourself 

It is also recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 1, Hadith 66, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’  

This hadith can be gently introduced to children as a reminder that true strength of faith is shown when we want success for our sibling as much as we want it for ourselves. 

By linking their feelings back to these teachings, you give your children not only practical reassurance but also spiritual clarity. They will come to see that their bond is not meant to be shaped by competition but by shared mercy and support, making their relationship stronger even in times of change.