How to Stay Confident in a Different Model of Fatherhood 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be uncomfortable when older relatives pass judgement on your parenting style, especially if their expectations are rooted in a more traditional, distant model of fatherhood. The first thing to remember is that your role is not to seek approval from extended family, but to nurture a secure and loving home for your children. 

A father who shows emotion, helps with daily routines, or engages warmly with his children is not weakening his authority. On the contrary, he is teaching his children that strength is expressed through care, presence, and consistency. When relatives comment, it may help to receive their words with courtesy while continuing to stay firm in your choices. Often, people speak from habit, not malice. 

Anchor Yourself in Clear Intentions 

You can maintain confidence by anchoring yourself in clear intentions: you are doing this to raise children who feel emotionally safe and spiritually guided. Over time, your consistency will demonstrate the value of this model more powerfully than any argument. If family members challenge you, you can respond with calm assurance: ‘This works for my children’ or ‘I want them to know their father is here for them.’ 

It may also help to remind yourself that parenting evolves across generations. Just as your parents and grandparents adapted in their time, you are now adapting to what your children need in today’s world. By holding this perspective, you avoid feeling defensive and instead act with quiet strength. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anbiyaa (21), verse 107: 

‘And We (Allah Almighty) did not send you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), except as a mercy for the whole of the trans-universal existence.’ 

This Verse highlights that mercy is not a weakness but the very essence of the prophetic model. Showing gentleness to one’s family is part of embodying that mercy. 

The Prophetic Model: Mercy is Not Optional 

It is recorded in Sunan Abi Dawud that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.’ 

[Sunan Abi Dawud, 43:171] 

This hadith makes clear that showing mercy to children is not optional; it is a defining quality of the believer. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself expressed emotion openly, kissed his grandchildren, and played with children. These actions were not seen as a lowering of status but as prophetic strength. 

When you show affection and take an active role in your children’s lives, you are following the Sunnah, not straying from it. Older relatives may have inherited cultural models, but Islam calls fathers to balance authority with compassion. By staying steady in this balance, you not only nurture your children but also revive a prophetic example in your home.