How to Shape Your Child’s View of a Mother’s Worth 

Parenting Perspective 

Frame Your Actions to Shape Their Values 

It is a painful feeling when children associate one parent with joy and ease while the other becomes tied to structure, chores, and discipline. This dynamic is common in many families, but it does not have to define your children’s understanding of your worth. Children learn not only from what you do, but also from how you frame your actions and the values you reinforce in daily life. 

Highlight the Meaning of Your Work 

One step you can take is to consciously highlight the meaning of the tasks you do. Instead of letting them see cleaning, cooking, or organising as invisible labour, bring them into it in small ways. For example, you can say, ‘When I prepare food, it is an act of care for you,’ or ‘Tidying the home helps all of us feel calm.’ This language connects your work to love and responsibility, showing them that worth is not measured by play alone. 

Reserve Space for Shared Enjoyment 

It is also important to ensure that you reserve some space for shared enjoyment. This does not mean competing with your husband for the ‘fun role,’ but intentionally creating lighter moments where your children experience your warmth and laughter too. Even a short game, a walk, or storytelling before bed can leave lasting impressions of joy tied to your presence. 

Involve Your Husband in Visible Responsibilities 

In addition, consider gently involving your husband in some visible responsibilities so that the children witness both parents contributing. This can be achieved without conflict by suggesting certain routines that he takes charge of, such as bath time or school drop-offs. Balance is not about equal time in every area, but about children seeing that care and play are shared between both parents. 

Guide Them to a Healthier Understanding 

By reframing the narrative around your contributions, intentionally making time for connection, and encouraging shared roles, you can guide your children towards a healthier understanding of a mother’s worth. 

Spiritual Insight 

A Mother’s Efforts Are Divinely Acknowledged 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 14: 

‘And We (Allah Almighty) have decreed upon mankind in regard to his parents; his mother carried him (in pregnancy exposing her to) weakness upon weakness; and his dependent nourishment (from her) for two years; (thus O mankind) be grateful to Me (Allah Almighty) and to your parents, and to Me is (your ultimate) destination.’  

This Verse reminds us that the efforts of a mother are immense and divinely acknowledged, even when unseen by others. A mother’s sacrifices are not overlooked by Allah Almighty, and when children are guided with gratitude, they too learn to value that effort. 

A Mother’s Station Is One of Honour 

It is recorded in Sunan an-Nasai, Book 25, Hadith 20, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Paradise lies under the feet of mothers.’  

This hadith reinforces that a mother’s worth is not diminished by the type of tasks she carries, whether visible or hidden. Her constant efforts are elevated to a station of honour in Islam. By modelling balance, speaking openly about the meaning of your role, and ensuring moments of tenderness alongside responsibility, you help your children grow up with a deep respect for both the unseen sacrifices and the visible joys of motherhood. 

In this way, their understanding of a mother’s worth will be shaped not by comparison, but by the values of gratitude, fairness, and love.