How to Reintroduce Responsibility After a Big Change 

Parenting Perspective 

Pushing Back Is a Need for Security 

When children face a big change, even the most ordinary tasks can feel heavy. Pushing back against chores or routines is often less about disobedience and more about them needing space to regain their sense of security. At such times, a parent’s role is to rebuild stability gradually while keeping the connection strong. 

Recognise Their Emotional State First 

Begin by recognising their emotional state before reintroducing responsibility. A simple acknowledgement such as, ‘I know things feel different right now, but we can handle this together,’ shows empathy. Start small rather than reinstating everything at once. Assign one or two manageable chores and frame them as part of teamwork, for example, ‘When you set the table, it helps the whole family feel settled.’ This shifts the task from being a burden to being a contribution. 

Offer Choices Where Possible 

Offering choices where possible can also preserve trust. Allow a child to choose between two chores or decide when during the evening to complete theirs. This balance of structure and flexibility gives them a sense of control in a time when life may feel unpredictable. Consistency is important, but warmth in tone and patience in approach ensures routines are seen as acts of care rather than control. 

Responsibility Becomes Associated With Security 

Gradually, as children experience the comfort of routines returning, they will associate responsibility with security instead of stress. A parent’s steady presence and gentle encouragement help them rebuild trust that life, even after change, can carry rhythm and order. 

Spiritual Insight 

Fulfilling Rights and Responsibilities 

Islam teaches that responsibility and structure are blessings that bring peace to both the individual and the family.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 26: 

‘And give those who are your relatives their due rights, and the needy and the traveller; and do not squander your wealth, extravagantly.’ 

This Verse reminds us that fulfilling rights and responsibilities is a part of obedience to Allah, and balance is key in all circumstances. Even in times of change, keeping responsibilities alive nurtures discipline and care. 

Strength Is Consistency with Compassion 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 1, Hadith 79, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.’  

Strength here includes resilience and reliability. When parents model gentle firmness in maintaining chores and routines, they teach children that strength is not harshness but consistency with compassion. 

By slowly reintroducing responsibility while showing empathy, you help your children see that routines are not about control but about honouring each other’s rights and supporting family life. This way, trust is preserved, and responsibility becomes a shared value rooted in faith and love.