How to Rebuild Sibling Unity After a Divorce 

Parenting Perspective 

Their Distance Is a Sign of Hurt 

It is very natural for children to show tension with one another during or after a divorce. Each child is carrying their own feelings of sadness, confusion, and sometimes even anger, and these emotions can spill out as bickering or withdrawal. The most important step is to recognise that this distance is a sign of hurt, not necessarily dislike between siblings. 

Create Gentle Opportunities for Connection 

You can begin by creating gentle opportunities for connection that do not feel forced. For example, invite them to do something small together that has a natural purpose, such as helping you prepare a simple meal, playing a short game, or walking to the shop. Keep it short and light and allow them to step away if they need to. Over time, these small, shared moments can rebuild comfort. 

Name the Emotions in the Home 

It also helps to name the emotions that are happening in the home. If you hear them fighting, you might say, ‘I know we are all hurting and it is easy to take it out on each other, but we are still a family, and Allah has placed love between us.’ This models honesty and gently reminds them of their bond without pressuring them to show it in ways they are not ready for. 

Ensure Each Child Feels Individually Seen 

Finally, make sure each child feels individually seen and valued. When children are secure in their relationship with you, they feel less need to compete with one another for attention. The sense of family unity is built as much through one-to-one reassurance as it is through shared family time. 

Spiritual Insight 

Love and Unity Are Gifts From Allah 

At times of family strain, it is helpful to remind children and yourself that even when hearts feel distant, Islam teaches us that love and unity are gifts from Allah. 

True Togetherness Comes From Allah 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Anfaal (8), Verse 63: 

‘And He (Allah Almighty) has placed affection between the hearts (of the Muslims); and if you had expended the entire (wealth) that is in the Earth, you would not have created the same affection between their hearts; and however, it is Allah (Almighty) Who has created that fondness between the believers; indeed, He (Allah Almighty) is the Most Cherished the Most Wise.’  

This Verse reminds us that true togetherness comes from Allah, not from forcing relationships. Your role as a parent is to create space for kindness, patience, and shared moments, and to trust that Allah will gradually soften their hearts toward each other. 

Believers Are Like a Building 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 46, Hadith 7, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer to another believer is like a building, each part strengthening the other.’  

He then interlaced his fingers. This image can help your children see that siblings are meant to support one another, and that their strength lies in standing together, especially in difficult times. 

By gently encouraging shared acts of kindness, validating their pain, and grounding the family in the remembrance of Allah, you can slowly help your children rediscover unity. The process does not need to be rushed; trust that healing and closeness will grow with time and sincere effort.