Parenting Perspective 

When children begin to feel that love can be lost, whether after harsh words, prolonged anger, or a sense of conditional affection, they may start to retreat emotionally, doubt their own worth, or walk on eggshells around you. Rebuilding closeness means restoring their trust so that they know your love is steady, even when you are feeling upset. The key is to show, through consistent words and actions, that while their mistakes may bring about correction, they will never bring about disconnection. 

Acknowledge Their Fear Directly 

Address their underlying worry in a direct and loving way. You could say, “You may feel that I am angry with you right now, but I need you to know that I will always love you. Nothing you do can ever change that.” Addressing their fear openly helps to remove any silent, lingering doubt. 

Use Conversations to Repair the Bond 

After a conflict has passed and emotions are calm, sit with your child and explain your actions. For instance, “I was being firm about your behaviour earlier because it was not safe, but my love for you is never at risk.” Naming this crucial difference between your love for them and your dislike of their behaviour helps to heal their perception. 

Reinforce Belonging with Warm Gestures 

Offer a hug, make gentle eye contact, or invite them to join you in a shared activity like reading a book or preparing a snack. These simple, physical signals of connection can often repair what words alone cannot. 

Build Predictable Rituals of Connection 

Daily practices such as a bedtime dua, shared mealtimes without distractions, or a hug every morning can assure children that your affection is not fragile. This predictability creates security in their hearts. 

Share Your Own Vulnerability 

You can help your child to understand the nature of unconditional love by drawing a parallel with your own faith. You could tell them, “Even when I make mistakes, I always turn back to Allah, and His love and mercy for me do not disappear. My love for you works in the same way.” Linking your own humanity to theirs helps to build their empathy and trust. 

With these consistent steps, children learn that your love for them is not fragile or temporary, but is instead a secure bond that discipline is intended to protect, never to break. 

Spiritual Insight 

The relationship between a believer and Allah is one of constant mercy and forgiveness. This divine pattern can serve as a model for parents who wish to reassure their children that their love is unwavering. 

The Quran on Allah’s Mercy Never Failing 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 53: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.’ 

This powerful verse assures us that even when we stumble, the mercy of Allah Almighty never abandons us. Teaching this verse to our children can help them to trust that making a mistake does not mean the end of love. 

The Hadith on Love for the Believer 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 387, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When Allah loves a servant, He calls Jibril and says: ‘I love so-and-so, so love him.’ Jibril then loves him and proclaims in the heavens: ‘Allah loves so-and-so, so love him.’ Then the inhabitants of the heavens love him and he is granted acceptance in the earth.’ 

This Hadith shows us that the love of Allah for a sincere believer is enduring and is celebrated throughout the heavens. Parents can mirror this beautiful truth by making their own love visibly unshakable, assuring their children that they are embraced and cherished, even when they are being corrected. This approach helps to transform a child’s fear into a feeling of security and gently draws their heart back into the warmth of closeness.