How should a child respond when relatives tease about their weight or height? 

Parenting Perspective 

Comments about a child’s weight or height, even when they are disguised as “harmless teasing,” can wound a child very deeply. They can chip away at their confidence, distort their self-image, and make family gatherings feel unsafe. Children rarely know how to respond to these comments without either sounding upset or being disrespectful. Teaching them a calm and assertive way to handle these moments helps them to protect their dignity without fuelling any further conflict. The aim is to foster a sense of emotional steadiness, not embarrassment or silence. 

Beginning with Reassurance and Reality 

You can start by grounding your child in a sense of self-acceptance. You might say, ‘Your body is growing in exactly the way that Allah has designed for you. You do not need to feel ashamed or feel that you have to explain it to anyone.’ They must know that their worth is not measured by their appearance, but by their character, their kindness, and their health. 

Explaining That Teasing Is About the Teaser, Not the Target 

It can be helpful to explain, ‘Sometimes, people make jokes about things they do not understand or that they feel uncomfortable with. It is not really about you; it is about them.’ This helps your child to see the teasing as a sign of immaturity, not as a reflection of the truth. 

Equipping Them with Calm and Graceful Responses 

Teach your child some simple and polite phrases that can help them to set a boundary without showing any aggression. 

• ‘I am happy the way I am, thank you.’ 

• ‘I would rather we did not talk about my body.’ 

• ‘Let us talk about something else instead.’ 

• A particularly good phrase is: ‘I would rather not talk about my body.’ 

Each of these options helps to redirect the tone of the conversation with dignity. 

Practising the Right Tone with Role-Play 

Role-playing can help to build your child’s composure and prevent an emotional overreaction. You can practise different scenarios to help them find a tone that is cheerful but confident, and self-assured but not offensive. 

Teaching the Power of Redirection 

You can advise your child, ‘If you feel uncomfortable with a comment, you can just change the topic in a kind way. You do not owe them a reaction.’ This helps to preserve a sense of respect while also protecting your child’s peace of mind. 

Supporting Them After the Interaction 

After your child has handled one of these situations, you can offer them your support. You could say, ‘You handled that with such grace; I am very proud of you.’ It is also important to let them know that if the teasing continues, they do not have to face it alone. 

Modelling How to Set Boundaries as a Parent 

Children learn a great deal from how you protect them in these moments. You could say to a relative in a calm and respectful tone, ‘We are trying to teach her not to focus on comments about her body. She is healthy and confident, and that is what matters to us.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches a deep respect for the human body, viewing it as a sacred trust from Allah Almighty. Every believer, regardless of their size or shape, is honoured and valued in the sight of their Creator. Teaching your child to respond to body-based teasing with dignity is an act of faith, as it aligns their self-respect with a sense of gratitude for Allah’s perfect design. 

The Quranic Honour of Every Human Being 

The Quran reminds us that every human body, in every stage and in every shape, is crafted with a divine wisdom. When your child responds calmly to teasing, they are affirming this beautiful truth. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Teen (95), Verses 4: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created mankind with the best (designed) specification.’ 

This verse teaches that true beauty lies in our purpose, not in a comparison with others. 

The Prophetic Example of Respect and Restraint 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ guide us in both how we should speak to others and how we should respond to them. When we are faced with carelessness, we should try to respond with composure. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2627, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is not a slanderer, nor a curser, nor is he obscene or vulgar.‘ 

When your child replies with composure instead of anger, they are showing a mastery of their own character, keeping others safe even when others have been careless. 

When your child learns to say, “I would rather not talk about my body,” they are learning how to protect their own peace without pride. They are discovering that confidence can be quiet, and that self-respect does not require a lengthy explanation. 

Each graceful response teaches them a lesson in emotional intelligence: the ability to remain kind while still standing firm. Over time, they will come to realise that their body is not a topic for the judgment of others, but a gift from Allah to be looked after with stewardship. 

In every calm and respectful boundary they set, your child comes to reflect the light of the Islamic character: a gratitude for their creation, a restraint in their reaction, and a strength that comes from knowing that their true worth has already been defined by Allah Almighty.