How do we course-correct when our child has already witnessed multiple parenting clashes between us? 

Parenting Perspective 

Course-correcting after your child has witnessed several parenting clashes is not only possible, it is a powerful act of love. Children are resilient, but they are also emotionally perceptive. If they have observed repeated disagreements over how they are being raised, it can create lasting confusion, insecurity, or a tendency to play one parent against the other. They might test boundaries, align with the more lenient parent, or quietly internalise the belief that their home is unstable. The hopeful truth, however, is that children are just as attentive to repair as they are to rupture. They notice how problems are resolved and how respect is restored. The first step, therefore, is for both parents to acknowledge privately that the pattern has been unhelpful. From there, you must agree on a set of non-negotiables: no more parenting disagreements in front of the child, no public corrections of each other, and a commitment to a united tone when setting rules. 

Letting your child witness the repair 

If your child has been exposed to tension, it is equally important that they are exposed to peace, but this must be done in a way that feels natural. You might say something simple like, “Mummy and Daddy have been talking, and we have realised we need to do a better job of working together as a team.” This statement must then be followed by genuine, consistent changes in your behaviour. When your child feels that the energy at home has become calmer and more unified, they will naturally begin to feel safer and become more cooperative. Do not try to rush this process. Rebuilding trust is not about finding the perfect explanation; it is about demonstrating, through small, daily choices, that your shared parenting foundation is now stronger. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, the path of islah (reconciliation) is not considered a mere backup plan; it is a profoundly noble act. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ regularly guided people through their disputes with compassion, wisdom, and a respect for privacy. When parenting clashes occur, what matters most is the manner in which they are resolved: with humility, a commitment to unity, and the sincere intention to protect the emotional trust of the child. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 1: 

‘…So seek piety from Allah (Almighty), and correct all matters (in the relationships) between yourselves… ‘

This verse is a direct call not to dwell on past friction, but to actively repair what has been strained. In this context, that includes not only your marital bond but also your shared parenting dynamic. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2509, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not tell you what is better than the rank of fasting, prayer, and charity?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Reconciling between people. ‘

This profound hadith reminds us of the immense spiritual value that Islam places on mending hearts and reconciling relationships, a sacred process that must always begin within our own homes. By turning towards each other with renewed care and committing to shield your child from future clashes, you are doing more than just correcting a mistake; you are embodying prophetic wisdom. This act of unity is not only emotionally healing for the family, but it is also a deeply spiritual act that plants seeds of trust and peace in your child’s heart which will, God willing, grow for years to come.