How do I teach my child to stay calm when they feel judged in public? 

Parenting Perspective 

Name and Normalise the Feeling 

Children can feel deeply unsettled if they think strangers are watching or judging them. This might happen if they make a mistake, have a meltdown, or do something unexpected in a public place. Some children worry that people are thinking poorly of them or of you as their parent. Start by helping your child to name this feeling: ‘It feels like everyone is looking at you, and that makes your heart feel tight.’ Normalise it by reminding them that many people feel this way sometimes. 

Practice Calm Responses 

Practise calm ways to handle these feelings before they happen. Talk about what they can do if they feel judged, such as taking deep breaths, holding your hand, or focusing on your calm voice. Use simple words: ‘Most people are not thinking unkind things. They are busy with their own worries.’ Share stories from your own life when you felt judged in public and what helped you to stay steady. Praise your child when they handle these moments without panic and reassure them afterwards: ‘You stayed calm, even when you felt uncomfortable. That is very brave.’ Over time, these small tools help your child to see that they do not have to carry the weight of other people’s opinions; they can stand tall and feel safe inside. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam reminds us that people’s opinions come and go, but what matters most is how Allah Almighty sees us. When your child feels stared at or misunderstood, teach them to place their trust in the One who truly knows their heart. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 160: 

‘If you are the recipient of assistance from Allah (Almighty), then no one can prevail over you; and if He (Allah Almighty) forsakes you, then who is it that can assist you after Him…‘

This reminds us that other people’s judgements hold no power compared to Allah Almighty’s care. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3372, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Dua is worship.‘

Encourage your child to whisper a small Dua when they feel judged: ‘Ya Allah, help me feel calm and protect my heart.’ This gentle prayer reminds them that they are not alone, even in a busy street or shop. Over time, this faith-based calmness teaches them that other people’s stares or unkind thoughts do not define them; only their trust in Allah Almighty and their gentle actions matter. By practising this, they learn to stand with quiet confidence wherever they go.