Parenting Perspective 

When a child says ‘sorry’ and immediately assumes the matter is over, it reveals how they perceive forgiveness: as a quick release from tension rather than an invitation for growth. For many children, the word ‘sorry’ can feel like a magic spell that makes discomfort disappear. The challenge for parents is to shift that mindset from one of escape to one of repair. A sincere apology does not simply remove guilt; it should also work to restore balance, trust, and respect between people. 

Guide Them to Turn ‘Sorry’ into Action 

When your child offers an apology, it is important to accept it warmly but also to gently add direction. You might say, ‘That was kind of you to say sorry. Now, let us think about how we can make things better.’ This simple addition turns a moment of remorse into an opportunity for reflection. You can teach them that empathy is proven through action and that true kindness involves helping to heal any hurt we may have caused. For example, if they have upset a sibling, you can guide them to check on them later or offer to help them with something. 

Teach Concrete Steps for Repair 

Children often grasp abstract ideas better when they see them put into motion. If they have broken something, allow them to participate in repairing it. If they have said something unkind, help them to practise a gentle gesture or to offer kind words as a way of making amends. It is important to avoid the temptation to rescue them by fixing everything yourself. Instead, show them that taking steps to repair a situation brings a sense of peace to both hearts. Over time, this consistent connection between apology and restitution helps to build integrity. 

Model Sincere Apology and Repair 

Your own mistakes provide powerful teaching moments. It is helpful to admit them calmly and openly: ‘I interrupted you earlier, and that was wrong of me. I am sorry, and I will try to listen more carefully next time.’ When your child witnesses this humility, they learn that being accountable does not diminish respect but actually strengthens it. Taking time for reflection after a reconciliation is also key. You could ask, ‘Do you feel better now that we have fixed it?’ This helps them to link the act of making amends with inner peace, rather than with punishment. 

When this pattern becomes a consistent part of your family culture, children learn that saying ‘sorry’ is not a way out of a difficult situation, but a way back to truth, care, and connection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teaching elevates the act of repair from a point of social etiquette to an act of worship. In our faith, reconciliation is a sacred deed because it heals hearts and upholds justice, both of which are beloved to Allah Almighty. Forgiveness in Islam is not passive; it is an active process. It asks believers to move from regret to rectification, and from guilt to growth. Teaching a child that ‘sorry’ must be followed by an effort to make things right is to root their moral development in the divine principle of islah (reconciliation and restoration). 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 40: 

‘And the outcome (of defending) against an evil, (could be the formation) of an evil similar to it; so therefore, whoever offers amnesty and reconciliation, then his reward shall be with Allah (Almighty)…’ 

This verse shows that Allah Almighty values not only forgiveness but also the courage to rebuild what was broken. When your child learns to move beyond a mere apology towards active reconciliation, they are mirroring a behaviour that earns a divine reward. It reminds them that making things right is not just about pleasing parents or peers; it is about walking the path of those whom Allah loves for their fairness, humility, and peace-making spirit. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2449, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever has oppressed another person concerning his reputation or anything else, he should beg him to forgive him before the Day of Resurrection when there will be no money, but if he has good deeds, those good deeds will be taken from him according to his oppression, and if he has no good deeds, the sins of the oppressed person will be loaded on him.’ 

This profound Hadith reminds both parent and child that reconciliation in this world is not optional; it is a protection for the Hereafter. It teaches that the harm we cause to others is a debt that must be cleared by seeking forgiveness and taking right action. When your child learns that repairing a wrong is part of preparing their soul for accountability, the idea of saying ‘sorry’ gains spiritual weight. It becomes an act of cleansing, not convenience, and an opening through which Allah’s mercy and forgiveness can flow.