How do I support my child who feels too shy to speak up in class? 

Parenting Perspective 

Normalise Shyness and Build Confidence 

Some children feel very shy about speaking in class, even when they know the answer. They may worry about saying the wrong thing, being laughed at, or drawing unwanted attention. This quietness can be misunderstood by teachers or classmates as a lack of effort, but in reality, it can feel like a big mountain for your child to climb. Start by telling your child that shyness is not something to be ashamed of. Use gentle words: ‘It is okay to feel shy. Many people feel this way. Speaking up is something we can practise step by step.’ 

Practice and Partner with the Teacher 

Ask your child what makes them feel most nervous. Is it speaking in front of many people, asking questions, or reading aloud? Listen without pushing too hard. You can practise tiny ways to build courage at home; play ‘classroom games’ where they pretend to raise their hand to answer easy questions with you. Teach them simple phrases like, ‘Can I say something?’ or, ‘I do not understand this part.’ Praise every effort, even if it is just a whisper. You can also work with their teacher, letting them know that your child feels shy and asking for gentle encouragement in lessons. Over time, these small moments add up. Your child will see that their voice matters and that speaking up, even a little, is a sign of quiet bravery. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that modesty and shyness are part of good character, but we are also encouraged to speak up for what is good and true. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity… ‘

Remind your child that Allah Almighty knows their shyness and will help them find the strength when they try their best. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3372, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Dua is worship.‘

Encourage your child to make a small Dua when they feel shy: ‘Ya Allah, help me find my voice and speak with courage.’ This gentle habit shows them that they are never alone when facing their fears. Over time, they will learn that shyness can be handled with small acts of courage and trust in Allah Almighty’s help, and that every tiny step they take to use their voice in a good way brings them closer to His mercy and support.