How do I stop the cycle of eye-rolling and muttering every time I say no? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child rolls their eyes or mutters under their breath, it can feel deeply disrespectful. You are setting limits out of love and responsibility, yet this kind of reaction is often less about rebellion and more about a frustration that your child does not know how to manage. The challenge is to correct the behaviour without damaging the relationship, and to uphold respect while still showing understanding. 

Recognise the Frustration Behind the Disrespect 

Eye rolling and muttering are outward signs of an inward struggle. Your child might be feeling powerless, embarrassed, or simply irritated at being told ‘no’. These behaviours are emotional shortcuts, ways to express frustration without using words. If you meet them with equal irritation, the cycle will continue. By pausing and recognising what is truly happening, you can teach your child that while their emotions are valid, they must still be managed with respect. 

Respond with Composure, Not Irritation 

Children instinctively watch for your reaction. When you respond sharply, you escalate the situation. When you remain calm, you remove the fuel for the conflict. The next time your child rolls their eyes, try saying in an even tone: 

‘I understand you are disappointed, but my answer will not change.’ 

Then, stop talking. The silence that follows communicates authority far more powerfully than a raised voice. It also shows your child that self control is stronger than irritation. 

Discuss the Behaviour When Things Are Calm 

Once everyone is calm, discuss the incident in private. Choose a time when your child feels safe enough to talk openly. You might say: 

‘When you roll your eyes or mutter, it feels hurtful. I know it is hard to hear “no”, but we need to speak to one another respectfully even when we disagree.’ 

This conversation teaches emotional accountability. It helps you separate their feelings from their actions, allowing you to validate the emotion while correcting the way it was expressed. 

Spiritual Insight 

The moments that test our patience as parents are often the ones that build our character most. Each time you stay composed in the face of disrespect, you live out the values of forbearance, mercy, and dignity that Islam so deeply cherishes. 

Calm Conduct in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Fussilat (41), Verse 34: 

‘And the good actions cannot be equivalent to the mistaken action; (therefore) repel (your mistaken action) with that which is a good action; so, when (you discover) that there is enmity between you and them, (your patience and resilience shall transform them) as if he was a devoted friend.’ 

This verse reminds us that gentleness and goodness have the power to dissolve hostility. When you meet your child’s frustration with calm and clarity instead of anger, you can turn a moment of conflict into an opportunity for connection. Your home becomes a place where respect grows naturally from patience and compassion. 

True Nobility in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of you to Allah are those who are best in character.’ 

This teaches us that good character is displayed not only in public or at times of ease, but especially within our own homes. When you respond to your child’s rudeness with steadiness, you are embodying a noble character, the kind that softens hearts and teaches through quiet strength. Your reaction becomes a living example of prophetic manners. 

Eye rolling may seem trivial, but it reflects an important stage in your child’s emotional growth. By guiding rather than punishing, you help them learn to manage frustration and disappointment with maturity. Your steady patience teaches that respect is not about fear, but about mutual dignity. Spiritually, your composure transforms irritation into an act of worship through restraint. Over time, your calm firmness will echo in your child’s own behaviour, shaping them into someone who can disagree respectfully and honour boundaries without resentment.