Parenting Perspective 

It can be exasperating when, just as you need to leave, your child decides to restart a video game or pick up a toy instead of putting on their shoes. The shoes are waiting, the clock is ticking, and it is easy to feel your patience slipping away. In these moments, remaining steady means maintaining a calm authority without being drawn into a shouting match or a battle of wills. 

Acknowledging the Attraction of Play 

Children are naturally drawn to the immediate pleasure of games and toys, especially when faced with a less appealing task like putting on shoes. Recognising this simple fact can help you to respond with empathy instead of immediate anger. 

• You can start by saying, ‘I know it is really hard to stop playing when you are enjoying something so much.’ 

Setting a Clear Boundary Without Nagging 

Instead of repeating the same command multiple times, use calm, firm words once and then be prepared to follow through. This communicates to your child that the boundary is firm and non-negotiable, but that you are not angry. 

• ‘It is time for shoes first, then you can play later.’ 

• ‘We cannot start another game right now. The game will wait for you until after school.’ 

Using a ‘When-Then’ Structure 

Connect the task you need them to do with the activity they want to do. This simple linguistic shift moves the focus from a sense of loss to one of positive anticipation. 

• ‘When your shoes are on, then you can bring the tablet in the car to play.’ 

• ‘When we get back from our errands, then you can restart the game and show me how you beat that level.’ 

Modelling Calm Steadiness 

If you allow yourself to become angry, the game immediately becomes the new battleground for a power struggle. By remaining steady, you show that while the need to get ready is not negotiable, your love and calmness are constant. 

• Child: (restarts the game) 

• Parent: (Calmly) ‘I see you have started the game again. It is time for shoes first. The game will be here when you get back. I will be waiting for you by the door.’ 

This approach avoids a tug-of-war over the device while placing the responsibility for the next step squarely on the child. 

Spiritual Insight 

A child’s distraction is more than just a parenting challenge; it can also serve as a spiritual reminder of our own constant struggle against the distractions of this world. 

Patience in Guiding 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘ And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.‘ 

This verse reminds us that the servants of the Most Merciful carry themselves with calm dignity, responding to provocation or delay with words of peace. 

Strength in Self-Control 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others. The strong person is the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

This hadith teaches us that our true strength as parents is found not in forcing obedience through anger, but in our ability to hold ourselves steady and control our own emotions. By staying calm and redirecting your child with gentle firmness, you are modelling the essential qualities of self-control and balance. Over time, your child will learn the important life lesson that responsibilities come first and pleasures follow, a principle rooted in both worldly discipline and faith.