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How do I soften my facial expression when my anger is written all over it and my child is watching? 

Parenting Perspective 

Before you ever say a word, your face communicates. Even if your voice is calm, a clenched jaw, wrinkled brows, or piercing eyes might convey rejection, fear, or emotional danger. Particularly during stressful situations, children are extremely sensitive to the nonverbal indications of the people they rely on. Start with softening your eyelids, letting your shoulders drop, and relaxing your forehead to bring awareness to your body. Touching your face or jaw with your hand is a helpful grounding cue that can reset your facial tone and interrupt intensity. You can also give your nervous system a moment to re-calibrate by turning your attention to something neutral, taking a deep breath, or looking away for a short while. You are consciously choosing to control your anger rather than deleting it. A child’s sense of emotional safety is reinforced when they witness your kindness even when you are firm. 

Spiritual Insight 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was known for a face of mercy, even in frustration. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1956, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

 “Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity.” 

 This Hadith serves as a reminder that our words have spiritual weight and have the power to uplift or degrade. Imagine the silent impact of holding back a severe stare during a moment of emotional force if a simple grin is considered Sadaqah. The noble Quran describes believers in Surah Al Fatah (48), Verse 29: 

 “…You will always see them bowing and prostrating  (in worship of Allah Almighty)…..distinguished (by the light) on their faces from the effects of their prostration….. 

This verse acts as a reminder that our faces are a reflection of our inner states, including our spiritual endeavours, ibadah, and hardships. Because of our eyes and facial expressions, parents continuously leave their mark on their children’s hearts. Allow your youngster to see your tenderness as well as your firmness. Soften your face in times of difficulty as a gesture of kindness that emulates the Prophet’s ﷺ patience and leaves a legacy of spiritual and emotional security. 

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