How do I show that borrowing should never be for things we do not need? 

Parenting Perspective: Prioritizing Peace Over Pleasure 

Children grow up saturated by advertising that cleverly disguises wants as essential needs. Parents often feel this external pressure, worrying that saying ‘no’ might make their children feel deprived. However, one of the most loving and protective lessons you can teach is that not every desire deserves a debt. Borrowing should never be for things we do not need, because unnecessary borrowing steals both inner peace and sincere gratitude. 

Begin by clearly showing the simple difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’ within their world. Say, ‘A need is something we cannot live without like food, shelter, clothes to keep us warm, and medicine. A want is something that makes life more fun or comfortable but is not essential for survival or dignity.’ Give tangible examples: ‘We need reliable shoes to protect our feet, but we do not need ten pairs of expensive, new sneakers.’ Keep your tone calm and reasoning, never scolding, as children grasp balance best when they feel respected, not restricted. 

Turning Decisions into Shared Learning 

Bring this principle into daily life. The next time your child asks for something, instead of giving an immediate ‘no,’ introduce a shared decision-making process. Ask, ‘Let’s use our wisdom and see: is this a need or a want?’ This simple phrase transforms a refusal into a moment of education and trains them to pause before acting on impulse. If the item is a clear want, gently guide them toward saving or waiting. Say, ‘If we buy it now by borrowing, it will bring a small burst of short-term happiness but will cause long-term stress. If we save for it, we will enjoy it with true, guilt-free peace.’ This powerfully teaches that patience is the gateway to real satisfaction. 

Use imaginative metaphors that resonate with a child’s experience. Say, ‘Borrowing for things we do not need is like choosing to carry extra, heavy stones in your schoolbag when you already have enough. It makes walking and running much harder for no good reason.’ Children remember feelings and images more than dry financial facts. When they imagine the heaviness, they intuitively understand why minimal borrowing means lightness. 

You must also model the discipline yourself. If you are tempted to borrow for something clearly unnecessary, express the decision-making process aloud: ‘I really liked that new phone, but I do not truly need it. It would only add a bill later that steals my peace. Let us wait.’ Children notice how you handle your own desires more powerfully than how you simply describe them. 

Freedom is Not in Owning Everything 

To prevent the message from sounding like deprivation, connect restraint to something greater: generosity and hope. Say, ‘When we do not waste money on things we do not need, we have more to give to people who truly need help. That makes our hearts rich.’ This shifts the focus from self-denial to compassion and service. 

Then, add hope to the message by framing restraint as trust in God. Say, ‘We borrow only when something genuinely important cannot wait, like health or education. But for extras, we wait and save. Allah Almighty always provides when we are patient and grateful.’ This shows the child that self-control is a form of worship and wisdom, not a punishment. 

Finally, close the conversation with calm assurance: ‘We keep life simple so our home and our hearts stay peaceful. We do not borrow for wants because peace is worth more than any luxury.’ 

Spiritual Insight: The Virtue of Moderation 

Islamic teaching draws a clear line between necessary borrowing (which is permitted) and borrowing driven by desire (which is discouraged). Debt taken on for unnecessary things risks greed, wastefulness, and a profound loss of peace. The noble Quran and the Sunnah urge moderation (Iqtisad), gratitude, and the avoidance of extravagance. 

The noble Quran defines the essence of balanced living. Allah Almighty states in Surah Al Furqan (25), Verse 67: 

‘And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor stingy, but hold a medium way between those [extremes]…’ 

Explain this gently: ‘Allah Almighty loves balance. He does not like it when people waste or show off, nor when they become miserly. Borrowing for things we do not need is a kind of waste, because it takes our peace away.’ When a child understands moderation as an act of obedience, they begin to see simplicity as a source of spiritual strength. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave even clearer guidance about spending beyond necessities. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3605, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Eat, drink, give charity, and wear clothes, as long as there is no extravagance or pride.’ 

You can say, ‘The Prophet ﷺ taught us to enjoy the good things we have, but to stay humble and thoughtful. We thank Allah Almighty for His blessings by being careful with our resources, not careless.’ 

Encourage a family prayer for simplicity, teaching them that true peace lies in sufficiency. After prayer, you can recite, ‘O Allah, make what You have given us enough for us, and protect us from extravagance and debt.’ By showing that borrowing for wants only adds noise to life, while simplicity brings space for peace, you teach your child the secret to lifelong happiness that freedom is not in owning everything, but in needing less.