How do I show that arrogance pushes away blessings from Allah Almighty? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is one of the most painful contradictions to witness as a parent. You see your child excel at something, perhaps they score the winning goal, achieve the highest grade in the class, or memorise a difficult portion of the Quran, and instead of softening with gratitude, they harden with pride. You notice the subtle shift in their tone and body language. They might start speaking down to their siblings, rolling their eyes at advice, or acting as if the rules of the house no longer apply to them because they are somehow ‘special’. It frightens you because you know that talent without humility is a dangerous gift. You worry that their success is becoming a spiritual trap, blinding them to the reality that they are fragile and dependent beings. You want them to soar, but you are terrified that the weight of their own ego will eventually drag them down. 

The Myth of the Self-Made Child 

Arrogance in children often stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of where their ability comes from. When they succeed, they draw a straight line from their effort to the result, completely bypassing the thousands of invisible variables that allowed that result to happen. They think, ‘I studied, so I got an A.’ They do not see that their health, the quiet house you provided, the teacher who explained the concept well, and the intellect they were born with are all gifts they did not earn. This illusion of self-sufficiency makes them feel powerful. They believe they are the source of their own light. Your role is not to crush their confidence but to correct their attribution. You need to help them see that they are not the sun generating the light, but rather the moon reflecting it. When they understand that their talent is a loan rather than a possession, the arrogance naturally begins to dissolve. 

The Immediate Social Consequence 

Before you can explain the abstract spiritual cost of arrogance, you often have to show them the social cost, as this is immediate and tangible to them. Arrogance is a repellent. It pushes people away. When a child is arrogant, their friends stop celebrating with them. Their siblings stop wanting to play with them. The atmosphere around them becomes cold and lonely. You can gently point this out when it happens. You might say, ‘I noticed that when you were bragging about your win today, your brother went quiet and walked away. It seems like your pride made the room feel small for everyone else.’ Help them realise that Rizq includes the affection of others. When they act with arrogance, they are actively blocking that Rizq. They are building a wall where there should be a bridge. Explain to them that people naturally gravitate towards humility because it feels safe, whereas arrogance feels like a threat. If they want the ‘blessing’ of friendship and support, they have to lower their guard and invite people in, rather than standing above them. 

Reframing Success as a Test of Service 

We often treat failure as a test and success as a reward, but in Islamic psychology, success is often the more difficult test. When your child achieves something, change the conversation immediately. Instead of just saying, ‘Well done, you are so smart,’ which feeds the ego, try asking questions that ground them. Ask, ‘Who helped you get here today?’ or ‘What do you think Allah Almighty wants you to do with this new skill?’ This reorients their focus. It teaches them that every blessing carries a responsibility. If they are strong, it is to help the weak. If they are smart, it is to teach those who are struggling. When they view their blessings as tools for service rather than badges of honour, arrogance becomes impossible. You cannot look down on people when you are busy serving them. By shifting their mindset from ownership to stewardship, you protect their heart from the hardening that arrogance brings. You teach them that the moment they clinch their fist around a blessing and say ‘mine’, they squeeze the life out of it. But when they open their hand in gratitude, the blessing remains and grows. 

Spiritual Insight 

The spiritual reality is even more profound than the social one. In the realm of the Unseen, arrogance acts as a literal barrier to Divine Mercy. It is a form of theft. When we claim credit for success that Allah Almighty facilitated, we are trying to wear the cloak of Majesty that belongs only to Him. We must teach our children that Rizq flows like water. Water always seeks the lowest point. It gathers in the valleys, not on the mountain peaks. Similarly, Allah Almighty’s mercy and provision gather in the hearts of the humble, while it rolls off the hard, high surface of an arrogant heart. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Qasas (28), Verse 78: 

‘He said, ‘I was only given it because of knowledge I have.’ Did he not know that Allah Almighty had destroyed before him of generations those who were greater than him in power and greater in accumulation [of wealth]? But the criminals, about their sins, will not be asked.’ 

This verse tells the story of Qarun, a man who had everything but lost it all because of one fatal error in his thinking. He believed his success was due to his own cleverness. When you read this to your child, explain that Allah Almighty did not punish him for being rich; He punished him for being ungrateful. The phrase ‘because of knowledge I have’ is the trap. It is the moment the human being forgets the Creator. Remind your child that whenever we think we are the sole reason for our success, we are walking on the same dangerous path as Qarun. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 91, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter Paradise.’ 

Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ uses the imagery of a ‘mustard seed’ to show us how subtle this spiritual disease can be. It does not always look like shouting or boasting. Sometimes it is just a quiet, secret feeling of being better than others. This Hadith teaches us that arrogance is incompatible with the ultimate Rizq, which is Jannah. If a tiny seed of pride can block entry to Paradise, imagine how much it blocks the blessings of this life. 

Paradise is the home of peace, and arrogance is a state of war against reality. By combining these two lessons, you help your child understand that humility is like a magnet. When they say ‘Alhamdulillah’ and genuinely mean it, they are magnetically pulling more goodness towards them. But when they say ‘I did this’, they are cutting the rope that connects them to the endless treasury of Allah Almighty. The blessing of guidance, of peace, and of true contentment is reserved for those who lower their heads in recognition of the true Giver. 

By teaching them this, you are giving them the secret to a life of increase. They will learn that the lower they bow, the higher they are raised, and that the empty cup of humility is the only one Allah Almighty fills. You help them see that true dignity is found not in looking down on creation, but in looking up at the Creator.