How do I respond when my child asks for a device right after an argument or disappointment? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child requests a device immediately after an argument or disappointment, it is often a sign that they are seeking a distraction from difficult emotions. While this provides temporary relief, it can prevent them from learning how to process these feelings constructively. The best response balances empathy with gentle guidance towards healthier coping. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

Before addressing the request for a device, validate their feelings. Simple statements like, ‘I know you are feeling upset right now,’ or ‘I can see that was really disappointing for you,’ reassure them that they are understood. This creates an emotional connection first. 

Offer Comfort Before Technology 

Instead of immediately handing over a device, offer a brief comfort activity. This could be sitting together quietly, sharing a warm drink, taking a short walk, or engaging in a simple, calming task like drawing. These moments help them to regulate their emotions with your support. 

Delay Without Denying Completely 

If screen time is otherwise appropriate, you can delay it rather than denying it completely. Let them know they can have some device time later, after they have had a chance to calm down or talk things through. This teaches the important lesson that technology is not the first or only solution for emotional distress. 

By responding with empathy and thoughtful redirection, you help your child build the crucial skill of facing their feelings rather than consistently avoiding them through distraction. 

Spiritual Insight 

From an Islamic perspective, we are encouraged to manage our emotions with patience and to guide our families towards responses that bring long-term benefit. Helping a child to deal with disappointment constructively is a vital part of nurturing their character. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 200: 

‘O you who are believers, be patient, and be resilient, and be constant, and attain piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may be successful…‘ 

This verse reminds us that patience and steadfastness are essential qualities for navigating the challenges and disappointments of life. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless.’ 

This teaches us that true strength lies in facing challenges directly and seeking beneficial solutions, rather than in passively avoiding them. 

By guiding your child towards healthier coping mechanisms before they turn to a device, you equip them with the emotional resilience and patience needed to manage life’s disappointments in a way that will serve them well beyond childhood.