Parenting Perspective 

When an issue involves social media or public shaming, the emotional impact on your child can be profound. Teens are particularly sensitive to their online presence, and public shaming can feel like a deep humiliation. The global reach of social media means that mistakes or conflicts can be exposed to many people, escalating emotions and potentially causing lasting damage to your child’s self-esteem. Repairing the relationship requires empathy, patience, and a commitment to restoring their sense of security and dignity. 

Acknowledge the Emotional Impact 

The first step in repairing any rift after a public shaming incident is acknowledging the emotional pain your child has experienced. Before diving into problem-solving, it is important to validate their feelings and demonstrate that you understand the hurt they are going through. 

• What to do: Say something like, ‘I understand that having this happen publicly must have been really hard for you. I can imagine how embarrassed or upset you must feel.’ 

• Why it works: Validating their feelings shows that you are in tune with their emotional state and helps them feel heard. 

Avoid Shaming and Focus on Healing 

In a situation involving public shaming, it is crucial that your teen does not feel shamed again by your response. Frame the conversation around the desire to reconnect and heal the rift. 

• What to do: You might say, ‘I know this is difficult, but I am here for you. Let us talk about what happened and find a way forward together.’ 

• Why it works: Focusing on healing instead of blame creates a safe space for your teen to share their perspective. 

Have an Open Conversation About Privacy and Boundaries 

Public shaming often involves the violation of personal boundaries. Rebuilding trust requires a respectful conversation about privacy, boundaries, and responsible social media use. 

• What to do: Have a calm conversation where you both discuss the boundaries around social media. Ask questions like, ‘How do you feel about the things you share online? What kind of boundaries do you think we should set?’ 

• Why it works: Involving your teen in the conversation about boundaries gives them a sense of agency and control. 

Support Them in Addressing the Public Fallout 

If the situation involves public ridicule from peers, your teen may feel isolated. Helping them process the fallout and offering to support them can be crucial in their emotional recovery. 

• What to do: Offer support in practical ways, like speaking with other parents or helping them address the incident publicly if they wish. For example, ‘If you would like, we can talk to your friends or take action online to explain what happened.’ 

• Why it works: Active support reassures your teen that they are not alone and that you are invested in their emotional well-being. 

Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies 

After an incident of public shaming, your teen may experience anxiety or confusion. Helping them develop healthy coping mechanisms is essential for emotional recovery and resilience. 

• What to do: Suggest coping strategies like journaling, engaging in calming activities, or taking a break from social media. You could say, ‘I know this is hard right now, but let us find some things to do together that help you feel calm.’ 

• Why it works: Encouraging healthy coping shows your teen that emotional health matters and that it is okay to step back and take care of themselves. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Promise of Ease After Hardship 

The noble Quran reminds us that every challenge we face is paired with relief. The emotional pain caused by social media conflicts or public shaming is undoubtedly challenging, but Allah promises that ease follows hardship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5-6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

Through patience, understanding, and effort, healing will come, and a stronger connection can emerge from the challenge. 

The Importance of Mercy and Forgiveness 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasize the importance of mercy and patience in our relationships. Giving space to an older child respects their emotional process and is an act of merciful understanding. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 371, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Be merciful, and you will be shown mercy. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.’ 

By following these steps, you can help your teen heal from the emotional wounds of social media or public shaming. Through empathy, respect for their boundaries, and active support, you can rebuild trust, offer guidance, and teach resilience in the face of adversity.