Parenting Perspective 

The practice of gratitude (shukr) is intended to soften the heart, but if it is not guided carefully, it can sometimes be overshadowed by pride. A child who says, ‘I am thankful that I am the best at this,’ may be unintentionally viewing their blessing as a personal achievement, rather than as a gift from Allah. Protecting gratitude from pride requires parents to teach the quality of humility alongside the practice of thankfulness. This helps children to learn that our blessings are given to us, not earned by our own merit alone. When understood in this way, gratitude can become a shield against arrogance, rather than a stepping stone towards it. 

Gently Redirect All Praise to Allah 

When your child achieves something, it is important to celebrate their success, but you can also gently guide their gratitude towards its proper source. A simple comment like, ‘Alhamdulillah, Allah gave you the ability and the energy to do that so well,’ is very effective. This simple addition gently shifts the focus away from personal credit and towards an acknowledgement of divine generosity. 

Highlight the Combination of Effort and Divine Support 

You can teach your child, ‘Masha’Allah, you worked very hard, and Allah blessed your effort with success.’ This helps them to understand that both our striving and the help of Allah are needed for any achievement; success is never something we accomplish entirely on our own. 

Share Stories That Model Humility 

Share the story of Prophet Sulayman, who, despite being granted an immense and miraculous kingdom, responded to his blessings by saying, ‘This is by the favour of my Lord to test me.’ Stories like this are powerful anchors that help to root a child’s gratitude in a true sense of humility. 

Encourage Duas for Protection from Pride 

You can guide your children to ask Allah for protection from pride in their own words, for example, ‘Ya Allah, please help me to always be thankful without ever becoming boastful.’ Making regular, simple prayers like this helps to instil a sense of self-awareness and humility. 

Model Humble Gratitude Yourself 

When you are praised for an achievement, you can respond with, ‘Alhamdulillah, it is only by the mercy of Allah.’ Children are more likely to copy the sincere example they witness than the instructions they are given. 

By teaching your child that gratitude is about acknowledging the favour of Allah, not about showing off their own talents, you can help to protect their hearts from pride and nurture a true and lasting humility. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quran on Blessings as a Test of Gratitude 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Namal (27), Verses 40: 

‘….“This (power of transmission of a mass of several tonnes) is from the benefaction of My Sustainer; (I have been given this power and knowledge) to examine whether I am grateful or I am ungrateful…”.’ 

This verse, spoken by Prophet Sulayman, shows us that gratitude is not just about feeling joy for our blessings, but is also a profound test of our humility. Teaching this reminds our children that being truly grateful means remaining constantly aware that everything we have is from Allah. 

Prophetic Guidance on Humility and Arrogance 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6657, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not tell you about the people of Paradise? Every weak and oppressed person; if he were to swear by Allah, He would fulfil it. And shall I not tell you about the people of the Fire? Every violent, arrogant and proud person.’ 

This hadith highlights the destructive nature of arrogance and the high station of the humble believer. Parents can use this to show their children that true gratitude never boasts, but instead bows with a soft and gentle heart before Allah. In this way, the practice of shukr remains pure, helping to transform any potential for pride into humility, and turning our blessings into a means of growing closer to Allah.