How do I make a feelings chart that older children do not mock? 

Parenting Perspective 

Feelings charts can be powerful tools for helping children to name their emotions, but older children and teenagers may dismiss them as ‘babyish’ if they are too simplistic. To ensure the chart is a useful and respected tool, it needs to be designed in a way that matches their stage of maturity and gives them a sense of ownership over it. 

Use a Mature Design and Language 

It is a good idea to swap cartoon faces for a more mature and sophisticated layout. Use a wider range of clear and specific words for feelings, such as ‘frustrated’, ‘overwhelmed’, ‘hopeful’, or ‘confident’. A chart that uses thoughtful categories or a creative colour-coding system will feel more grown-up than one that relies on exaggerated emojis. Even teenagers can appreciate tools that respect their intelligence and maturity. 

Involve Them in the Creation Process 

Invite your older child to help you choose which feelings should go on the chart and how it should look. They might prefer a digital version on a phone, a private page in a notebook, or a simple colour scale on the wall. When children and teenagers help to design a tool themselves, they are far more likely to use it without embarrassment. 

Frame It as a Tool for the Whole Family 

Explain that the chart is a resource for everyone in the family to use, including the parents. You could say something like, ‘Sometimes I cannot find the right words for how I am feeling either, and I think this will help me too.’ By modelling its use yourself, you normalise it as a mature communication tool rather than a childish prop. 

By giving older children a sense of ownership, dignity, and respect in the design and use of a feelings chart, it can shift from something they might mock to something that genuinely strengthens family communication. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, communication is governed by principles of respect and dignity. The act of mocking or belittling others, or the tools they use for personal growth, is strongly discouraged, as it goes against the spirit of humility. 

The Islamic Prohibition of Ridicule 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This verse reminds us those mocking others, which can include the tools they use for learning and self-improvement, contradicts the spirit of respect and humility that is central to a believer’s character. 

The Prophetic Emphasis on Respectful Communication 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1927, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough evil for a man to belittle his Muslim brother.’ 

This hadith teaches us that belittling or mocking another person is a serious matter in the sight of God, whereas respectful and uplifting communication is a cherished part of the Sunnah. 

By introducing a feelings chart with respect and shared use, parents are demonstrating that the act of acknowledging one’s emotions is not childish, but is in fact a sign of maturity. Older children can then learn that recognising their feelings is a practice that strengthens their self-control and dignity, which are qualities deeply valued in Islam.