Parenting Perspective 

It can be disheartening when your first attempt to repair a situation with your child is rejected. You may feel frustrated or hurt, but it is important to remain calm and not allow those feelings to escalate. Children, particularly when they are upset, are often not ready to accept an apology or engage in a calm conversation immediately. In these moments, your ability to stay composed is key to showing them that you can handle difficult situations with patience and grace. 

Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings 

It is crucial to recognise that your child’s rejection is likely a response to their own emotional state. They may be feeling hurt, confused, or unable to process their feelings in the moment. Instead of taking the rejection personally, understand that it is part of their emotional process. 

You can say: ‘I understand you are upset right now, and I respect that you need some time.’ 

This statement acknowledges their emotions without pressuring them to respond. It gives them the space they need to calm down and eventually become open to repairing the connection. 

Step Back and Regain Your Composure 

If your child rejects your initial attempt at repair, take a moment for yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to step back, breathe, and gather your thoughts before trying again. Practising self-regulation will not only help you stay calm but will also set a positive example for your child. 

You could say: ‘I am going to take a deep breath. Let us try again when we are both ready.’ 

By acknowledging that you both may need time, you show your child that it is wise to approach difficult situations with a clear mind. 

Keep the Door Open for Communication 

Even if your first attempt to repair is rejected, let your child know that you are still available when they are ready to talk. Keep the lines of communication open and assure them that you are ready to listen whenever they feel comfortable. 

You can tell them: ‘I am here whenever you feel ready to talk. We can work through this together.’ 

This reassurance shows your child that you are not giving up on them or the relationship, even if the repair process takes time. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, patience and resilience in the face of difficulty are highly valued virtues. Remaining calm when your attempt to repair is rejected is an opportunity to practise perseverance and humility, reflecting the qualities of self-restraint and mercy that our faith teaches. 

Trusting in Our Capacity for Patience 

The noble Quran reminds us that while situations can feel overwhelming, we are never tested beyond our capacity. By maintaining our composure, we demonstrate our ability to handle challenges with wisdom and faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘ Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse is a source of strength, reminding us that we have been given the capacity to endure difficult moments with patience. 

The Virtue of Suppressing Anger 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasise that true strength lies in our ability to control our emotions, especially when we face rejection or frustration. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2025, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever suppresses their anger, Allah will cover them with mercy on the Day of Judgment.’ 

This hadith teaches us that by staying calm and patient in the face of your child’s resistance, you not only display emotional maturity but also embody the spiritual strength that is beloved by Allah Almighty.