How do I help my child understand that my device use is not a measure of my love for them? 

Parenting Perspective 

Clarify the Difference Between Attention and Love 

Children often take what they see at face value. When they see you absorbed in a device, they may not logically conclude you do not love them, but they may feel it. It is a matter of perception, not logic. The first step is to clarify the difference in simple terms. You can explain gently, ‘My love for you is always here and never changes, but sometimes my attention has to go to my work on the phone for a little while’. 

Balance Your Actions With Reassurance 

While words are important, it is your consistent actions that will truly reassure them. Make a deliberate effort to show visible affection and presence around your device use. This could be a warm hug before you take a call or five minutes of completely focused listening right after you put your phone down. When they see that your device use is always balanced with intentional connection, they learn that love is shown through care and presence, not just uninterrupted time. This builds their security and helps them to stop measuring their worth against your screen time. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings remind us that true connection is built on a foundation of gentleness and that our physical presence should reflect our emotional availability. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘ So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

This verse teaches us a profound lesson in leadership and love: it is gentleness and a soft heart that keeps people close. A harsh or distracted manner, conversely, will push them away. This is a vital reminder for parents when communicating with their children. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1155, that the holy Prophet Muhammad $ﷺ$ said: 

‘When someone spoke to him, he would turn completely towards him.’ 

Even with the immense responsibilities he carried, the Prophet Muhammad $ﷺ$ made sure that anyone who spoke to him felt completely seen and valued. By adopting this beautiful prophetic manner—pausing, turning our whole body, and responding with warmth—we physically demonstrate to our children that our love is constant, even when our attention must briefly be elsewhere.