Parenting Perspective 

Build a Foundation of Trust and Values 

Helping your child to make good choices when you are not there requires building a foundation of trust, responsibility, and strong decision-making skills. You can start by clearly outlining the values and rules that you expect them to follow, both at home and outside the home. It is important to explain why these rules are in place and how they align with your family’s values, such as kindness, honesty, and respect. For example, you might say, ‘When you make good choices, it shows that you care about others and respect yourself. Even when I am not around, you can always choose to do what is right.’ 

Encourage Critical Thinking 

Encourage your child to think critically about their actions before making decisions. You can teach them to pause and ask themselves questions like, ‘Is this the right thing to do?’ or ‘How will my actions affect others?’ It can be helpful to develop this habit by role-playing situations where they might have to make choices independently. For example, you could simulate a situation where they have to decide whether or not to join in with peers who are engaging in something that goes against their values. 

Teach Them to Trust Their Instincts 

Additionally, teach your child to trust their instincts and values. Encourage them to rely on their inner sense of right and wrong, and let them know that they can always come to you for guidance when they are unsure about a decision. Praise your child when they make good choices, even in your absence, as this reinforces the idea that their decisions reflect their character. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, making good choices and adhering to the principles of righteousness is encouraged. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity….’ 

This verse reminds us that Allah has given us the ability to make choices, and He trusts us to use our judgement in a way that aligns with what is right. By helping your child to make good choices, you are guiding them to align with the values of responsibility, wisdom, and trust that Islam promotes. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of making good decisions. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith highlights that making responsible choices starts with caring for others and maintaining integrity. By teaching your child to make good choices in your absence, you are helping them to embody these Islamic values of responsibility and self-control.