Parenting Perspective 

Gather Information 

Addressing bad behaviour at school requires a balanced approach that focuses on understanding the root cause while also setting clear expectations for improvement. You can begin by gathering information from the school. Speak to your child’s teacher or a school counsellor to gain insight into the behaviour and ask for specific examples. It is important to understand the context: is it happening in specific situations, like during group work, or does it happen with certain peers? This helps you to better understand what may be influencing your child’s actions. 

Have an Open Conversation 

Once you have gathered information, have an open and calm conversation with your child. Instead of simply punishing them, try to understand why they are misbehaving. Ask open-ended questions like, ‘Can you tell me what happened at school today?’ or ‘What made you act that way?’ Listening to your child’s side will help you to determine whether the behaviour is a result of frustration, peer pressure, or something else entirely. This will also help your child to feel understood, which can make them more willing to open up. 

Work on Solutions Together 

Once you understand the cause of the behaviour, you can work together to come up with solutions. Set clear, achievable expectations for how they should behave at school and explain the consequences of continued misbehaviour. Praise your child when they make efforts to improve, reinforcing the idea that positive change is something to be proud of. Keep in contact with the teacher to monitor their progress and offer your child praise when they exhibit good behaviour. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, good character and respectful behaviour are highly valued. Allah Almighty encourages us to treat others with kindness and respect in the noble Quran. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance.’ 

This verse teaches the importance of responding to negative behaviour with patience and forgiveness, which can guide your child to adopt more positive behaviour in their interactions. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of good manners and respectful behaviour. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reflects the importance of good character in all interactions, including those outside the home. By helping your child to address their behaviour at school, you are guiding them to embody these Islamic values of respect and kindness in all their actions.