How can parents model putting phones away without making it feel forced or performative? 

Parenting Perspective 

Make It a Natural Habit, Not a Performance 

If a parent makes a dramatic announcement about putting their phone away, the gesture can feel insincere and performative. A far better approach is to integrate this action quietly and naturally into the family’s daily life. Simple, consistent habits like placing phones on silent in another room before meals, or leaving them on a side table during conversations, demonstrate commitment without the need for grand statements. Over time, these subtle actions become a normal part of the family rhythm. 

Pair the Action With Genuine Presence 

The key is not merely putting the phone away, but filling that space with genuine attention. Making direct eye contact, actively listening, and showing interest in a child’s stories are what make the act feel authentic. Children are very perceptive and can easily distinguish between real and staged attention. This sincerity is what builds trust and ensures the habit is respected. 

Explain Your Intention Simply 

A parent can still explain their actions, but it should be done in a low-key and natural manner. Saying, ‘I have put my phone away because I want to focus on our conversation,’ frames the choice as an expression of value and love, not a performance. When this is done consistently, children learn that the act is a gesture of care, not a show for their benefit. 

Spiritual Insight 

Sincerity Over Showmanship 

Islam teaches that our character is defined by sincerity and respect for others. Actions that are done for show, rather than from a place of truth, lose their meaning and value. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘ Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

The Centrality of Intention 

The value of any action is ultimately determined by the intention behind it. When we put our phones away, the true worth is found in the sincere intention to give our families our presence and strengthen our bonds. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, 75, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are but by intention, and every man shall have only that which he intended.’ 

Building Trust Through Authenticity 

By modelling restraint quietly, pairing it with sincere presence, and grounding their actions in good intentions, parents teach an important lesson. Children learn that putting a phone away is not about appearances, but about a deep commitment to love, respect, and balance. This natural sincerity builds habits the entire family can trust and follow.