How can my child handle a group project where others want to coast on their work? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child has to carry the weight of a group project because other members are not contributing, it can feel deeply unfair and demotivating. The objective is to equip your child with the skills to ensure fairness, maintain high standards, and communicate clearly without creating unnecessary conflict. This can be achieved through structure, prepared scripts, and steady boundaries. 

Set Roles and Standards from the Start 

Coach your child to propose a simple plan at the group’s first meeting. This creates early clarity and reduces the chance of conflict later on. The plan could include: 

• A list of all the required tasks with a name assigned to each one. 

• A shared, realistic deadline for each part of the project. 

• A simple quality standard, for example: ‘Each section needs a clear title, one key fact, and one cited source.’ 

They can frame it positively by saying, ‘Let us divide the work so we each have a clear part to focus on.’ This makes inactivity visible without anyone having to make accusations. 

Provide Courageous but Courteous Scripts 

It is important to be firm without being aggressive. Role-play short, respectful sentences that state the reality of the situation and protect everyone’s dignity. 

• ‘I will not be able to finish your section as well as my own. What part of it can you complete by this evening?’ 

• ‘If a section is missing by the deadline, I will submit the finished parts with our names attached to the work we completed.’ 

These phrases keep the focus on the task and move the project forward without personal attacks. 

Offer Help Without Enabling 

Teach your child the crucial difference between supporting a teammate and saving them. 

• Support is: ‘Here is a template for the slide you can use. Now it is your turn to add the information.’ 

• Saving is: Doing the entire slide for them. 

If a teammate is genuinely stuck, your child can offer a starting point or a helpful resource before stepping back. This allows for compassion while ensuring responsibility remains with the correct person. 

Escalate Calmly and Methodically 

If deadlines are still being missed, coach your child on how to escalate calmly. 

1. A Gentle Reminder: ‘Just checking in. How are you getting on with your section?’ 

2. A Clear Boundary: ‘I will be submitting all the completed parts at 8 pm with each person’s name on their work.’ 

3. Inform the Teacher: ‘Hello, we divided the tasks as a group. Here is the tracker showing the parts that have been completed. We are submitting what is ready.’ 

This approach ensures your child acts with integrity and fairness, without needing to blame or shame their peers. 

Protect Your Child’s Well-being 

If the situation does not improve, help your child to focus on what they can control. Their responsibility is to: 

• Deliver their own section to an excellent standard. 

• Clearly attach their name to their contribution. 

• Provide the tracker to the teacher if necessary. 

Remember to praise their character over the outcome: ‘You handled that situation with kindness and did your part with integrity. I am proud of you.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Group work is a practical lesson in two core Islamic values: amanah (fulfilling a trust) and ihsan (striving for excellence). We want to teach our children to be generous and helpful, but not at the expense of justice and fairness. 

Working Together with Truth and Patience 

The Quran teaches that collective success depends on mutual encouragement towards truth and patience. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 1–3: 

‘By the (design of) time (by Allah Almighty); indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This reminds us that success is rarely a solitary achievement. You can tell your child, ‘In a group project, your role is to complete your part well and to encourage others towards truth and patience. This means setting clear roles, giving honest updates, and respecting deadlines.’ When they uphold these standards with courtesy, they are living this verse. 

Balancing Helpfulness with Justice 

Islam encourages us to support one another, but this support should never enable injustice. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4946, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is in the aid of the servant as long as the servant is in the aid of his brother.’ 

This hadith teaches the virtue of being helpful, but helping is not the same as doing someone else’s duty for them. Explain, ‘You can guide a teammate, share a template, or offer a kind reminder. That is a form of aid. However, doing their work for them is not aid; it is unfair to yourself and to them.’ 

Encourage them to make a quiet intention before starting group work: ‘O Allah, help me to be truthful, patient, and fair in this project. Allow me to help others without compromising justice.’ This mindset builds a character that pairs competence with conscience, finding honour not in rescuing a project alone, but in serving the team with clarity and integrity.