How can Islamic teachings about haya and modesty help children decide what is appropriate to share online? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Islamic concept of haya (modesty, self-respect) is a powerful internal compass that can guide a child’s online conduct. The key is to explain it in practical terms that they can apply to their digital lives. 

Explain Haya in Practical Terms 

Describe haya as a sense of self-respect and dignity that guides how we behave, both online and off. Help them to see that modesty is not just about what we wear, but also about protecting our private life from unnecessary exposure. 

Link Modesty to Self-Protection 

Explain that being modest in what we share online is a form of self-protection. Limiting the sharing of certain photos or private struggles helps to guard them from unwanted attention and misunderstandings, and builds a respectful online presence. 

Use Real-Life Online Scenarios 

Talk about real online situations, like group chats or social media posts, and give them a simple question to ask themselves: ‘Would I feel proud and comfortable if my teacher or grandparents saw this?’ This encourages them to develop their own internal filter. 

Model Haya in Your Own Online Behaviour 

Children learn most powerfully from our example. Demonstrate haya in your own posts and online interactions. When they see you being careful with your words and images, they internalise the value far more deeply than from any lecture. 

By framing online modesty as a strength, you empower them to navigate the digital world with confidence and dignity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Modesty, or haya, is not just a social grace in Islam; it is described as a fundamental branch of faith itself, guiding our conduct in all spheres of life. 

Haya as a Protection for the Heart 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzab (33), Verse 53: 

‘And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts…’ 

This reminds us that establishing clear and respectful boundaries in our interactions, whether physical or digital, is a means of protecting the purity of our hearts and relationships. 

Modesty as the Character of Islam 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4181, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, every religion has a distinct characteristic, and the distinct characteristic of Islam is modesty (Haya’).’ 

This teaches us that haya is not limited to our physical appearance but is a comprehensive quality that should shape how we present ourselves in all spaces, including online. 

By grounding online safety in the beautiful concept of haya, we teach our children that protecting their privacy is an act of faith and self-respect.