Parenting Perspective 

Celebrate Teamwork Over Rivalry 

It is natural for children to compare themselves to their siblings, but this can lead to a sense of competition that overshadows cooperation. To change this, parents can intentionally create a home environment where teamwork is celebrated more than rivalry. This can be as simple as changing your language; instead of asking, ‘Who finished first?’ ask, ‘How did you two help each other with that?’ This teaches children that mutual support earns more praise than winning. 

Create Opportunities for Cooperation 

Parents can design activities that require children to collaborate to succeed. This could be anything from cooking a meal together to playing a cooperative board game. When they achieve their goal, it is important to point out how working together made it possible. This helps them to see the real, practical benefits of supporting one another. 

Model and Praise Supportive Behaviour 

Children learn best from the examples they see every day. They should see their parents helping and supporting each other. When you notice one child assisting the other, offer warm and specific praise: ‘It was so thoughtful of you to help your sister with her puzzle.’ By consistently giving positive attention to these acts of cooperation, you reinforce that they are more valued than competition. 

Spiritual Insight 

Believers are Allies of One Another 

Islam establishes the relationship between believers as one of mutual support and alliance. This principle is most important within the family, where siblings should be taught to enjoin good and help one another in righteousness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 71: 

‘And the believing men and the believing women, some of them are role models for each other; where they encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and forbid (the doing of) negative (immoral actions)…’ 

Strengthening Each Other Like a Building 

This beautiful prophetic analogy teaches that believers should be a source of strength for one another. Just as bricks in a building support each other to make the whole structure strong, siblings should be encouraged to lift each other up. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, 222, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer to another believer is like a building, each part strengthening the other.’ 

Allies, Not Rivals 

By encouraging your children to see each other as allies rather than rivals, you align their relationship with core Islamic values. They will learn that helping one another is not just about keeping peace in the home, but is a way of strengthening their faith and earning the pleasure of Allah.