Parenting Perspective 

Connect Actions to Feelings 

Teaching a child to say sorry and truly understand its meaning is a pivotal part of their emotional development. When children apologise, it is often simply a reflex to avoid punishment rather than an authentic expression of regret. To help your child understand the importance of a sincere apology, it is crucial to explain the impact of their actions. For instance, if your child has taken something without permission, instead of simply instructing them to apologise, calmly explain how it affects others. You could say, ‘When you took the toy without asking, your friend felt sad.’ This helps your child to connect their behaviour with the feelings of others. 

Model Sincere Apologies 

It is also important to model the behaviour you want to see in your child. If you make a mistake, whether it is raising your voice or forgetting something, apologise openly. For example, if you lose your temper, say, ‘I am sorry for raising my voice; I should not have done that.’ By showing your child that apologising is a healthy way to take responsibility, you are teaching them that everyone, including adults, makes mistakes and must own up to them. Encouraging your child to express their feelings after apologising helps them to understand that apologies go beyond the word itself. You can encourage them to say, ‘I am sorry I made you feel upset,’ rather than just saying sorry. This teaches them to acknowledge the emotion behind their actions, promoting empathy and personal growth. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, repentance and seeking forgiveness hold deep spiritual significance. Allah Almighty encourages us to seek forgiveness and to repent sincerely for our wrongdoings. In the noble Quran, Allah Almighty states in Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 70: 

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.’ 

This verse highlights that when we genuinely repent, not only are our wrong actions forgiven, but they are also replaced with good deeds, emphasising the importance of sincerity in seeking forgiveness. 

Similarly, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified the importance of gentleness and sincerity in all interactions. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the Prophet ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it…’ 

This Hadith illustrates that when we apologise with kindness and humility, it beautifies our character. By teaching your child to apologise with genuine care and understanding, you are not only helping them emotionally but also instilling values of compassion and responsibility that align with the teachings of Islam.