Parenting Perspective 

Normalise Feelings, Guide Actions 

Teaching your child to pause and name their feelings before reacting is an important step in developing their emotional self-regulation and mindfulness. It allows them to understand and manage their emotions rather than being controlled by them. You can start by teaching your child that all emotions are valid but that it is important to recognise them before acting. You might explain, ‘It is okay to feel upset or angry, but it is important to take a moment to understand how you feel before you do anything.’ 

Introduce the Concept of Naming Feelings 

Help them to connect their emotions to words such as happy, sad, frustrated, or excited. You can make this fun by using an emotion chart or by playing games that help them to identify different emotions. For example, you might say, ‘How are you feeling right now? Are you feeling angry, or are you just frustrated?’ Encouraging your child to pause and reflect on their emotions allows them to become more aware of how they feel, making it easier for them to regulate their behaviour. 

Teach Calming Techniques 

Teach your child calming techniques to use in moments of intense emotion. For example, if they are feeling angry, you can encourage them to take three deep breaths before reacting. You can explain that pausing helps them to make better choices and to avoid saying or doing things they might later regret. Role-playing different situations where your child needs to pause and name their feelings can be a helpful way to practise this skill. Praise your child when they successfully pause and manage their emotions, as this reinforces the value of emotional awareness and self-control. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, emotional self-regulation and mindfulness are highly valued. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 153: 

‘O those of you who are believers, seek assistance (from Allah Almighty) through resilience and prayer, indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those that are resilient.’ 

This verse encourages patience in moments of emotional distress, teaching us that taking a moment to pause and reflect can help us to respond more thoughtfully and calmly. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of patience and self-control. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith highlights that true strength lies in the ability to pause, reflect, and control one’s emotions. By teaching your child to name their feelings and to pause before reacting, you are helping them to align with these Islamic values of patience, self-regulation, and emotional maturity.