Parenting Perspective 

Not all children find it easy to express gratitude with words. Some may be non-verbal, while others can feel too shy to speak up in front of guests or elders. However, appreciation can still be taught and demonstrated through alternative expressions that are both sincere and meaningful. The goal is to equip your child with tools that work for them, allowing them to show gratitude without feeling undue pressure. 

Encourage Non-Verbal Gestures 

Teach your child simple, non-verbal ways to show thanks, such as offering a warm smile, a gentle wave, a nod of the head, or placing a hand on their chest after receiving something. These small but visible gestures can communicate thanks in a way that is easily understood and appreciated by others. For younger children, even a high-five or a hug can be a beautiful expression of appreciation. 

Provide Visual or Written Options 

For a non-verbal child, gratitude can be expressed powerfully through other mediums. Helping them to draw a small picture, write a thank-you note, or send a short digital message can be a wonderful way for them to convey their feelings. For a shy child, simply helping them to prepare and practise a short phrase in advance can help to reduce their anxiety in the moment. 

Model and Reinforce 

When your child makes an effort to use one of these alternative methods, acknowledge it positively: ‘I loved the way you smiled at Auntie when she gave you that; it was a very respectful way to show your thanks.’ This reinforcement helps them to see that their efforts are valuable and effective, even if they are not expressed through words. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great honour on all sincere efforts to show kindness and gratitude, teaching that our inner intentions matter just as much as our outward actions. 

The Principle of Ease in Faith 

The Quran reminds us that Allah does not intend for religion to be a burden and that He values the effort each person makes according to their individual capacity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verses 185: 

‘…Allah (Almighty) desires for you facilitation (of ease), and does not wish for you hardship…’ 

The Focus on Sincerity of Heart 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the true measure of a person is not their outward appearance or eloquence, but the sincerity of their heart and the intention behind their deeds. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your bodies nor your appearances, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

By supporting non-verbal or shy children in expressing gratitude, you nurture both their confidence and their faith. They will learn that appreciation is not measured by how loudly they can say ‘thank you’, but by the sincerity with which they show it in their heart and through their actions.