Parenting Perspective 

Gentleness is a Sign of Strength 

Helping your child to stop feeling weak for being gentle involves reinforcing that gentleness is a sign of strength, not of weakness. You can start by explaining that in Islam, being gentle is a highly respected trait and is associated with good character and inner strength. You could say, ‘Being gentle means that you have control over your emotions and your actions, and that is a sign of real strength. It takes strength to be calm and respectful, especially when others may be harsh.’ 

It is important to praise your child when they demonstrate gentleness, especially in situations where it would be easy to become upset or frustrated. ‘I am proud of how gentle you were when you helped your friend today. You showed great strength and kindness.’ This reinforces that gentleness, when it is paired with strength, is an ideal quality to cultivate in both boys and girls. 

Model Gentle Behaviour 

Finally, you should model gentle behaviour yourself, especially in moments of conflict or frustration. Children often mirror their parents, so demonstrating calmness and kindness in your own actions will reinforce this message. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, gentleness is seen as a strength and is highly encouraged. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained in your heart, they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

This verse demonstrates that gentleness is a powerful force that brings people together and promotes harmony, rather than aggression. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also exemplified gentleness and patience in his interactions with others. It is recorded in Sunan Abi Dawood, Hadith 3252, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Speak the truth, even if it is bitter.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that being kind and gentle in our speech and our actions reflects our strength, especially in challenging situations. By helping your child to embrace gentleness as a strength, you are teaching them to follow the Prophet’s example of patience and kindness in all aspects of life.