How can I show my child that school success is not the only kind of success? 

Parenting Perspective 

Affirming Worth Beyond Academic Achievement 

In a world that often equates success with marks and medals, it is essential to help your child understand that their worth is not tied to academic achievement. Sit with them regularly and gently affirm, ‘You are valuable for who you are, not just what you score.’ Share real-life examples of people who made a difference through kindness, creativity, or resilience, even if they were not top of the class. Celebrate qualities like empathy, curiosity, or courage just as much as you would a good grade. 

Broadening the Definition of Success 

You might say, ‘I really appreciated how you stayed calm when things went wrong,’ or ‘Helping your sibling was such a thoughtful thing to do.’ These small recognitions shape their self-view and teach them that character and contribution hold deep value. Encourage them to set personal goals beyond academics, like learning to cook, caring for a plant, or helping a neighbour. This broadens their definition of success and nurtures a more balanced, confident self-image rooted in inner strength and compassion. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Qasas (28), Verse 77: 

“And seek (to discover) from what Allah (Almighty) has bestowed upon you for the abode in the Hereafter; and do not forget your (true) functionality in this world; and show favour (onto others) as Allah (Almighty) has shown favour upon you… “

This verse teaches that success lies not just in worldly gain, but in how one uses their abilities for higher purpose and goodness. Academic achievement is a means, not an end, and must be tied to sincere intention and service to others. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2641, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

“Actions are judged by intentions. “

This Hadith shifts the focus from external results to internal purpose. A child who tries with sincerity, helps others, and remembers Allah Almighty in their journey is already succeeding in the truest sense. Reinforce that doing their best, no matter the outcome, is beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Encouraging this perspective helps children grow into well-rounded Muslims who strive for excellence with humility, knowing that ultimate success is defined by their integrity, intentions, and relationship with Allah Almighty. It shields them from the anxiety of comparison and anchors their identity in faith. 

Let your child hear this message often: ‘We are proud of your kindness, your effort, and your trust in Allah Almighty.’ This reinforces that success in your home is measured not just by grades, but by grace, goodness, and growth.