Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Struggle 

When a younger child cheats to keep up, it usually comes from a place of insecurity, not malice. They may feel it is the only way they can belong. Rather than scolding, it is important to first acknowledge their feelings: ‘I know it can feel difficult to keep up with your older brother, but cheating is not the right way to handle it.’ This validates their struggle while still making it clear that dishonesty is unacceptable. 

Level the Playing Field 

Try to level the playing field by choosing activities where age differences matter less, such as luck-based board games or team challenges. This reassures the younger child that their value is not tied to winning. In competitive games, you can introduce a ‘special rule,’ like a small head start for the younger player. This allows them to experience success fairly, without having to resort to cheating. 

Encourage Effort Over Outcome 

Make a point of praising their perseverance rather than just the result: ‘I was so impressed by how hard you tried, even when it was tough.’ If they lose but have played fairly, celebrate their honesty: ‘You played by the rules, and that makes me very proud.’ Over time, they will learn that encouragement comes from integrity and effort, not from winning at any cost. 

Spiritual Insight 

Cheating is Condemned by Allah 

Islam teaches that honesty is a pillar of faith, and that cheating or seeking an unfair advantage is a serious transgression. The Quran opens a chapter with a stern warning to those who are unfair in their dealings, showing how seriously this is taken by Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mutaffifeen (83), Verses 1-2: 

‘ Woe be to those fraudsters (who shortchange people in their material dealings). Those people when they account (for receipts) from people, they demand it in full.‘ 

Honesty Brings Blessings 

The prophetic tradition links honesty directly to barakah (blessing). This beautiful principle can be taught to children even in the context of play: when we are truthful and fair, Allah blesses our efforts, but when we are dishonest, that blessing is removed. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 1532, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The seller and the buyer have the option (to cancel) as long as they have not separated, and if they speak the truth and make things clear, they will be blessed in their transaction, but if they conceal and lie, the blessing of their transaction will be wiped out.’ 

Fairness as an Act of Worship 

When you frame honesty and fairness as acts of worship, your child learns that these values are more important than keeping up with others. They will gain confidence in their own abilities and discover over time that true victory is found in sincere effort and pleasing Allah.