How can I privately reset the situation if I have lost control? 

Parenting Perspective 

Every parent will sometimes lose control, whether by raising their voice or reacting more sharply than intended. What matters most in these moments is how you handle the recovery. By privately repairing the situation, you can teach your child that mistakes can be acknowledged and relationships can be restored, all without shame. 

Step Away First 

If your emotions are still running high, the first step is to remove yourself from the situation for a short while. This could mean taking a few deep breaths, making wudu (ablution) if possible, or quietly stepping into another room. This essential pause gives you the chance to regain your composure before you address your child. 

Re-Enter With Humility 

Once you feel calm, you can approach your child in private and acknowledge what happened. A simple statement like, ‘I raised my voice earlier, and that was not the best way for me to handle that situation. Let’s try again respectfully,’ is very effective. This models humility and accountability without diminishing your parental authority. 

Reset the Relationship 

After you have taken responsibility for your part, it is important to offer reassurance that your bond is still intact. You could say, ‘We both had a difficult moment, but I love you, and I would like for us to move forward now with kindness.’ This shows your child that discipline and love can coexist, and that even when parents make mistakes, respect and mercy remain the foundation of your relationship. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that making mistakes is a part of being human, but the true test of character lies in our ability to seek forgiveness and repair the harm we have done. This principle of sincere repentance is a cornerstone of our faith. 

The Promise of Mercy over Despair 

The Quran reminds us that no matter our mistakes, we should never despair of Allah’s mercy. This teaches us to approach our own shortcomings and those of others with a sense of hope and a willingness to repair. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 53: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.‘ 

The Power of Sincere Repentance 

The prophetic tradition teaches that a sincere act of repair can erase a wrong deed, offering a fresh start not only with Allah but also within our family relationships. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4250, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.’ 

By privately resetting after losing control, you are demonstrating to your child that mistakes are human but that repair is essential. They learn that respect is restored not by pretending an outburst did not happen, but by acknowledging it, apologising, and moving forward with kindness, which is a lesson deeply rooted in Islamic mercy.