Parenting Perspective 

Discuss and Normalise 

Teaching your child how to handle unfair treatment calmly is an important skill that helps them to develop emotional resilience and maturity. You can start by discussing what unfair treatment looks like. Explain that sometimes people may treat them unfairly because of jealousy, misunderstanding, or even their own challenges. Let your child know that it is normal to feel upset when they are treated unfairly, but that how they respond is what matters most. 

Teach Them to Pause and Reflect 

Encourage your child to take a moment to breathe and reflect before reacting. For example, you might say, ‘When someone treats you unfairly, it is important to take a deep breath and think about how you want to respond. You can always choose to remain calm.’ Teaching your child to pause and think before reacting helps them to manage their emotions and to make better choices in the moment. 

Practice Through Role-Play 

You can role-play different scenarios where your child might experience unfair treatment, such as being left out by friends or being blamed for something they did not do. Practise calm, respectful ways to respond, such as, ‘I understand that you might feel frustrated, but I would like to talk about this calmly.’ This gives your child the confidence and the tools to handle difficult situations without escalating them. 

Encourage Speaking Up Respectfully 

It is also essential to teach your child the importance of speaking up for themselves in a calm and respectful manner. Encourage them to express their feelings and to stand up for what is right without becoming aggressive or confrontational. Praise them when they handle unfair treatment with composure, reinforcing the idea that staying calm and respectful is the best way to handle difficult situations. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, patience and self-control are highly valued when we are facing adversity. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 153: 

‘O those of you who are believers, seek assistance (from Allah Almighty) through resilience and prayer, indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those that are resilient.’ 

This verse reminds us that patience is a powerful tool when we are faced with unfair treatment. By teaching your child to respond to unfairness with patience and composure, you are helping them to align with this Quranic guidance. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also provided wisdom on how to handle difficult situations with calm and dignity. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith teaches that true strength lies in self-control and in handling situations with grace, even when one is treated unfairly. By preparing your child to handle unfair treatment calmly, you are helping them to develop both their emotional and their spiritual resilience.