How can I praise the other parent in earshot to steady loyalty? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children can often feel torn in their loyalties when they sense tension or criticism between their parents. Praising the other parent within your child’s earshot is a powerful way to reassure them that they do not need to choose sides and that loving both of their parents is safe. This simple practice strengthens a child’s sense of stability and allows their loyalty to both parents to grow without confusion. 

Offer Natural, Everyday Praise 

Simple, sincere comments, such as, ‘Your dad always works so hard to make sure our family is comfortable,’ or ‘Your mum has such a kind and patient way of helping people,’ carry immense weight when spoken within your child’s hearing. Over time, these small but consistent affirmations become a part of how your child views each parent, shaping an opinion based on respect and gratitude. 

Highlight Specific Actions and Efforts 

It is best to keep the praise specific and tied to real contributions, such as preparing meals, supporting them with their schoolwork, or showing patience during a difficult moment. This prevents the praise from sounding forced or generic and shows your child that respect comes from recognising genuine qualities and actions. 

Ensure the Praise is Sincere 

Children are very quick to sense insincerity. Any praise offered should be genuine and completely free from backhanded remarks or sarcasm. When children consistently hear one parent speaking well of the other, they feel deeply reassured that their loyalty to both is not a source of conflict. 

By praising the other parent within your child’s earshot, you protect them from the anxiety of divided loyalty and anchor them in a secure and stable family identity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the relationship between spouses is considered a sacred bond, and the mutual respect they show one another is a cornerstone of a righteous family life, setting a vital example for their children. 

Mutual Respect as a Divine Sign 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness…’ 

This verse reminds us that the affection and mercy between parents are divine gifts that must be honoured and protected, especially in the presence of their children. 

The Prophetic Example of Praising One’s Spouse 

The Prophet ﷺ was never shy about expressing his love and admiration for his wives, setting a powerful example for all believers to follow. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3887, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The virtue of Aisha over women is like the virtue of tharid (a dish of meat and bread) over all other foods.’ 

This teaches us that the Prophet ﷺ openly praised his wife in front of others, demonstrating that love and admiration, when expressed aloud, serve to strengthen dignity and mutual respect. 

When parents praise each other with sincerity in front of their children, they are reflecting both the Quranic and the Prophetic model of mercy and respect. This practice not only steadies a child’s loyalty but also nurtures a home atmosphere where love, honour, and faithfulness can grow strong.