How can I help my child understand that helping with guests is not ‘only for girls’? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children may sometimes absorb cultural assumptions that serving guests and other acts of hospitality are ‘women’s work’. If this idea takes hold, boys might resist helping while girls feel unfairly burdened. It is vital to teach children that kindness and responsibility are virtues for everyone, regardless of gender. Hospitality is not about prescribed roles, but about demonstrating respect and care. 

Challenge the Assumption with Examples 

Address the misconception directly and clearly by explaining, ‘Serving our guests is not a job just for boys or for girls; it is something we all do together as a family.’ Reinforce this by drawing their attention to examples of men in the family or community who help serve guests. Even a simple act, such as their father or an elder brother offering someone a drink, makes the message tangible and real. 

Share Responsibilities Equally 

Consciously assign hosting tasks across genders. Boys can be asked to pour drinks, greet elders at the door, or help set the table, while girls might offer sweets or assist in clearing empty cups. By ensuring that everyone has a role to play, you practically demonstrate the values of fairness and teamwork. 

Highlight the Universal Value of Service 

Remind your child that the act of helping guests is fundamentally an expression of kindness and respect. You can ask them a reflective question like, ‘How does it feel when someone serves you with a warm smile?’ This helps them to appreciate service as a dignified and honourable action, rather than a gendered duty or a chore. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the virtues of service and kindness are incumbent upon all believers and are not limited by gender. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself set the ultimate example of serving others with profound humility. 

A Race Towards Good Deeds 

The Quran encourages all believers, male and female, to actively compete with one another in performing good deeds, which includes serving others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verses 148: 

‘ And for every person there is a direction, (and the individual thinks that he is the pivotal axis to that direction) so he acts upon it, so endeavour to precede one another in matters of benevolent (actions); (as in the end) Allah (Almighty) shall gather you all collectively (on the Day of Resurrection), wherever you may be (or in whatever material state); indeed, Allah (Almighty) is Omnipotent over everything.‘ 

The Prophetic Example of Service 

The life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ provides the most powerful evidence that household service is an honourable act for men. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 676, that Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: 

‘The Prophet ﷺ used to serve his family, and when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray.’ 

This hadith shows that the greatest man in Islam served his own household and never considered such work to be beneath him. By sharing these teachings, you can show your child that helping with guests is about embodying noble, prophetic character, an honour available to every believer.